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Building self-knowledge

NAS82657

Heya, 

I am a thirty-year-old female who, got diagnosed with autism and ADHD this year. My whole life I have been trying to be someone I was not, and after the diagnosis, I am experiencing what could be described as an identity crisis. I am reaching out to you because I hope there may be a kind & generous soul who has gone through a similar process and would be open to sharing their experience. 


I have been masking well for years, but it has caused me a lot of distress and suffering. Getting diagnosed was a relief, but it also revealed what an empty shell of a human I am. I don't have a good sense of my values, goals, dreams, internal and external boundaries, etc. I feel like I borrowed all that from people I emulated and it's time to let go of that and find my authentic self (as corny as this sounds...) 

I was wondering if anyone could offer advice about building self-knowledge. Anything that has worked for you or people you know would be wonderful. Questionnaires, books, tools, methodologies, philosophies, people to follow, I am open to non-secular perspectives too. 

Thank you for reading my plea for help! <3 

Parents

  • I did some Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) counselling this year and 'defining core values' is a key part of that. Even though I'd done some values and goals setting work previously - it definitely helped me refocus in light of my autism diagnosis a year ago.

    Try doing a search for 'acceptance and commitment therapy values worksheets' or just 'values worksheets' - that should turn up plenty of material like guided exercises and questionnaires to help you to start thinking about and developing your own personal values.

    I also did the 'Myers Briggs' and 'Clifton Strengths' tests a few years ago in the time where everything was really falling apart for me but before I started to realise that perhaps I was autistic. They were helpful in trying to get a sense of myself.

    'Life Audit' was another search term that turned up some interesting results around that time for thought exercises and processes.

    Good luck - I hope some of that helps.

  • in reply to NAS90609

    Oh - I've never spoken with another Autistic who took the Clifton Strengths test. curious about your results. I had 4 in Strategic Thinking and one in Relationship Building which basically seems synonymous with Introvert.

  • in reply to JuniperFromGallifrey

    Similar score here: 

    Strategic Thinking: 5; Executing: 2; Influencing: 2; Relationship Building: 1;
    ...and that sums me up pretty well. 
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