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Building self-knowledge

NAS82657

Heya, 

I am a thirty-year-old female who, got diagnosed with autism and ADHD this year. My whole life I have been trying to be someone I was not, and after the diagnosis, I am experiencing what could be described as an identity crisis. I am reaching out to you because I hope there may be a kind & generous soul who has gone through a similar process and would be open to sharing their experience. 


I have been masking well for years, but it has caused me a lot of distress and suffering. Getting diagnosed was a relief, but it also revealed what an empty shell of a human I am. I don't have a good sense of my values, goals, dreams, internal and external boundaries, etc. I feel like I borrowed all that from people I emulated and it's time to let go of that and find my authentic self (as corny as this sounds...) 

I was wondering if anyone could offer advice about building self-knowledge. Anything that has worked for you or people you know would be wonderful. Questionnaires, books, tools, methodologies, philosophies, people to follow, I am open to non-secular perspectives too. 

Thank you for reading my plea for help! <3 

Parents

  • Wow this is a big question.

    I always recommend The Artists Way. But I'd also recommend a book I can't find outside of the christian church called Safe People. Another one called The Journey of Desire. 

    At one point I'd reference Safe People and a really horrifying book called the 48 Laws of Power. I needed to understand what I was dealing with and understand the difference between boundaries and abuse. They are often confused.

    I've found over time what was crucial to recognise was the absolute difference between seemingly similar concepts. both Orwell and Chesterton have a great deal to say about making these kind of distinctions. Everything is easy to understand in Context of their time. But I've discovered almost all of it applies to modern society in some way. While we might be more technologically advanced and not have the same political parties or impending air of Naxi's, it is the underlying structures and laws of humans which are constant.

    Take time. Steal time even, if you can. It is in solitude and uninterrupted exploration we can find who we once were and begin to help that youngling become into themselves. :) 

Reply

  • Wow this is a big question.

    I always recommend The Artists Way. But I'd also recommend a book I can't find outside of the christian church called Safe People. Another one called The Journey of Desire. 

    At one point I'd reference Safe People and a really horrifying book called the 48 Laws of Power. I needed to understand what I was dealing with and understand the difference between boundaries and abuse. They are often confused.

    I've found over time what was crucial to recognise was the absolute difference between seemingly similar concepts. both Orwell and Chesterton have a great deal to say about making these kind of distinctions. Everything is easy to understand in Context of their time. But I've discovered almost all of it applies to modern society in some way. While we might be more technologically advanced and not have the same political parties or impending air of Naxi's, it is the underlying structures and laws of humans which are constant.

    Take time. Steal time even, if you can. It is in solitude and uninterrupted exploration we can find who we once were and begin to help that youngling become into themselves. :) 

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