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Ask Mum ?

matty6

Hello.  I'm trying to gather some info from my childhood regarding traits. 

I've had input from childhood friends and one of my primary school teachers but there's an obvious omittion...  My Mum.

I have a good idea of how this will go. 'Oh that was a long time ago, why would you want to think about that?'.

I know that when I was struggling with reading, writing, maths (a general not concentrating thing) when I switched to junior school, I had a special lady do some tests on me.

I don't know what they were for but.. idk.  I have this feeling that my Mum might have known something?

It's a lot more complicated but that's Mums for you :)

Any thoughts ?

  • Matty - Sorry to sound too dark about it, but both of my parents are long dead so they are very useless at assisting my insight into the past.  Moreover, before they died, they were both a bit too old (in the mind) to cope with assisting with a formal diagnosis for me.

    My thoughts would be.......Your life is complicated enough at the moment without unnecessarily trying to probe into your mums memory about things she may not want to access (or can't remember clearly enough anyway perhaps.)  Although it is obviously very helpful to have input from your parents when trying to secure a diagnosis, parental input is not essential.   Personally, I would concentrate your efforts in other areas of gathering information and keep the relationship with your mum safe and sound.  Ask when you feel able and when you are confident it won't cause upset - but if you are shut-down, then leave it there.  Preserve yourself and your important relationships whilst you deal with the matter at hand, ie an ASD diagnosis.

    For the record, I still miss my parents a great deal.

  • A) what about dad? Or other older relatives who knew you growing up?

    B) whether you 'have' to have a parent / older relative available for interview to get a diagnosis is a bit of a postcode lottery.

    C) You don't really need to interview her yourself to get a referral from your GP. Just make sure she's willing to talk to the specialist about your childhood after the referral.

    D) sounds like you've no other choice to just bite the bullet and ask her.

  • Hi, you don’t actually need a parent. I’m older and my mother is too old to help and the same as you, she doesn’t want to understand autism. It’s thought of as an attack on their parenting skills. I went to my GP and he referred me within 10 minutes. I’ve had the questionnaires from the mental health team and have been accepted for an assessment. Only you know how you feel inside, school reports could also be helpful. I was put into remedial lessons, when I questioned my mother as to why, she was totally unaware that any of this had happened.

  • you can go solo as well, if circumstances demand it, e.g. my sisters and mom live in Poland and they do not speak english

    it would be recommended though to write more when preparing for assessment