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Difficulties with socialising

Pennie_Jane

I called the crisis line again last night as I feel so alone. I am trying to navigate life but not making or keeping friends. I feel pushed out or alienated from society everywhere I go. When I do make friends I feel pushed around and then accused like my neighbour has done and my daughter hasnt spoken to me for 3 weeks. I feel confused so often that I ask lots of questions plus feel uncomfortable. I just don't know how long I can keep going. I want to be invited and understood and people to like me and try to understand me. I just don't know what to do any more; it all feels too difficult now, especially at my age. I've been on assertiveness courses and groups but I feel such an easy target and my intentions very misunderstood. Disappointed This is not a normal way of feeling. Very upset again today. Disappointed

Parents

  • Hi

    Unfortunately it is so for many of us, and we despair, I did so too. But I'm just to stubborn to give up, you could try it too. Though more acurate would be to say iron-willed. I get anxious, and sad, and depressed and ruminate over bad things, spending endless nights doing it. But at the same time I do not give up.

    It takes many years for many of us to make first friend, or find a partner, it's not uncommon to never happen, so one must prepare for such a future unfortunately. It's only logical. I met my first friend when I was 28y.o. I've got 3 now at 43y.o. and that's maksimum I can cope with. Friendship requires nurturing, and since they are neurotypical it's often going out to socialise.

    Pennie_Jane said:
    my intentions very misunderstood

    and it's so perplexing, and depressing. Recently I discovered why it happens. It's Double Empathy Problem https://youtu.be/y51w9j5eS50. Autistamatic made a video proposing a solution to that as well https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEI2F66uIGI&list=PL3R_uyUBjsuBozC9uMrd8NLX1A5BgSyWE but we still need to find a way to pass it to allistic, because it requires both sides to cooperate

  • in reply to Mariusz

    May I add that I know many allistics who also have the double empathy problem? Cognitive empathy is not that developed in our society as one might think and some allistic people have little emotional empathy. Socializing would be so much easier if it were not so.

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