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Broken family relationships

NAS81690

My dad and most of his family emotionally neglected me, ignored me, controlled me to be a certain way and silenced me for speaking up and denied and rejected a lot of things about my health. When I told mDisappointed relievedy dad I'm waiting for an autism assessment he reacted badly, telling me it's all in my head and he wouldn't read the information I gave him. My brother didn't say much either he didn't know much about it and he's always been negative and insensitive towards Disappointed relievedme. I suspect other family members also have autistic traits. They made my health worse constantly triggering me and I realized I can't make them accept me or understand me so I ended up cutting ties or limiting contact with a lot of them. I feel like I've been emotionally/ psychologically abused by my own family and it hurts. I'm grieving that I never had a supportive loving family. I'm not sure if getting a diagnosis will change things or if my family will ever understand and accept me. I'm worried I'll be lonely for most of my life. I only have a few family members I feel comfortable around but they don't fully understand or believe I'm autisic. 

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  • How awful for you ! You can choose friends, but not family. Autistic kids are an obvious target for familial bullying - siblings sense a weakness that can be exploited, parents reflect their own insecurities. Getting a diagnosis won't necessarily change that or make your family members rethink their behaviour though, even though it might help you understand more about yourself. There's more to life than family though. If I had a recommendation, it would be not to cut off contact completely, and always leave a door open for communication, but only on your terms. If it's clear you calmly and rationally won't tolerate abusive behaviour and that communication has to be respectful, then that dynamic can change. Don't forget our family are only one part of our social circle - overcoming isolation, doing other things, pursuing our passions, doing meaningful work we enjoy, can bring friends, colleagues and contacts that can build our own circle around us, people that we choose to be with, and choose to be with us.   

  • in reply to Guru

    Do you think people with autism have good character?

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