How do you disclose your autistic identity to others?

Half the time folk only need to read my T shirt which reads: "Autistic and Proud" or "I don't suffer with Autism.  I enjoy every minute of it", lol. But then I'm too old and crabby to give a stuff about what people in general think.  It's better than them thinking: 'She's wierd' or 'stand offish'.

Seriously though, people are a mixed bag depending on their understanding.  I've been really lucky; my friends and family have been great.  I think it's explained a few things and helped them too.  My employer couldn't be more supportive and encouraging. 

Where it's been mixed is where you'd expect the understanding to automatically be there and be vital - like the GPs.  The practice I was with showed zero understanding, even though it was my medical phobias which led me to the discovery of my Autism and this is the only truly debilitating aspect of it for me.  Even with an advocate, they wouldn't adapt appointments etc, actually wrote in a letter that I "suffer with autism" and continued to insist I phone at 8 and tell the receptionist all about why I wanted an appointment in order to get one even though they know putting it into words is pretty horrific for me and how do they think an advocate can come with me that way?  I changed practice.  My new practice couldn't be kinder.  They really want to help. Don't get me started on mental health...grrr.  My Special care dentist is fab though.

In all seriousness, if my friends and family can bend their heads around this and be supportive, why can't I trust the services who are officially supposed to "support" me and who should have had some proper training in this eons ago to be consistently so?  I get a bit sick of having to educate them when I'm actually feeling very vulnerable and need their help and not much up to be being their Autism trainer.

Thanks for your reply. Your t-shirts are cool. It’s great that you have so much confidence in your autistic identity.

I have some autistic pride t-shirts too.

Dawn said:

I've been really lucky; my friends and family have been great.  I think it's explained a few things and helped them too.  My employer couldn't be more supportive and encouraging. 

I am glad you had a good experience with disclosing to the people you mention above. That’s really positive.

Dawn said:

Where it's been mixed is where you'd expect the understanding to automatically be there and be vital - like the GPs.

Unfortunately many professionals including GP’s have a very pathologised and inaccurate understanding of autistic experience. Like you say it is absolutely vital for GP’s to understand our autistic experience.

Dawn said:

Even with an advocate, they wouldn't adapt appointments etc, actually wrote in a letter that I "suffer with autism" and continued to insist I phone at 8 and tell the receptionist all about why I wanted an appointment in order to get one even though they know putting it into words is pretty horrific for me and how do they think an advocate can come with me that way

I am sorry you had this experience it must have been horrible to have been spoken about like this and not be accommodated for.

Dawn said:

I get a bit sick of having to educate them when I'm actually feeling very vulnerable and need their help and not much up to be being their Autism trainer.

Yes I understand, it is not our job to educate people on autistic experience all the time, it can be exhausting and use too many spoons. Having said this I quite like educating about autistic experience but it could be quite monotonous if I did this repeatedly after every disclosure.

‘It's better than them thinking: 'She's wierd' or 'stand offish'.’

Yes I understand, you are not weird or standoffish. You are a perfect autistic person!

Thanks for your reply. Your t-shirts are cool. It’s great that you have so much confidence in your autistic identity.

I have some autistic pride t-shirts too.

Dawn said:

I've been really lucky; my friends and family have been great.  I think it's explained a few things and helped them too.  My employer couldn't be more supportive and encouraging. 

I am glad you had a good experience with disclosing to the people you mention above. That’s really positive.

Dawn said:

Where it's been mixed is where you'd expect the understanding to automatically be there and be vital - like the GPs.

Unfortunately many professionals including GP’s have a very pathologised and inaccurate understanding of autistic experience. Like you say it is absolutely vital for GP’s to understand our autistic experience.

Dawn said:

Even with an advocate, they wouldn't adapt appointments etc, actually wrote in a letter that I "suffer with autism" and continued to insist I phone at 8 and tell the receptionist all about why I wanted an appointment in order to get one even though they know putting it into words is pretty horrific for me and how do they think an advocate can come with me that way

I am sorry you had this experience it must have been horrible to have been spoken about like this and not be accommodated for.

Dawn said:

I get a bit sick of having to educate them when I'm actually feeling very vulnerable and need their help and not much up to be being their Autism trainer.

Yes I understand, it is not our job to educate people on autistic experience all the time, it can be exhausting and use too many spoons. Having said this I quite like educating about autistic experience but it could be quite monotonous if I did this repeatedly after every disclosure.

‘It's better than them thinking: 'She's wierd' or 'stand offish'.’

Yes I understand, you are not weird or standoffish. You are a perfect autistic person!