Appearances and looking ‘normal’ !!

So, what does this look like? Obviously this is a tongue in cheek question, but really, why do people say it? Since my diagnosis in March, I had my first ‘but you look normal’ comment last week. Needless to say, I told them that I am normal, and asked them to define what that meant. I asked them what I should look like instead? I was then compared to an autistic man we both know, who presents quite obviously. I said I wasn’t xyz, and that each person with ASD is different. I told him he shouldn’t judge it assume anything about anyone based on their appearance. 

This brings me to peoples opinions on beauty. I do get regular compliments based on what I look like which I don’t feel comfortable with. I have a face like everyone else! And that face makes people assume things about me. People think derogatory things about me, but also that I must be a bit*ch, stuck up or standoffish. What makes them think that is actually my ASD and not being comfortable socially, but they don’t know that. Or course they also think my life must be great, and that I couldn’t possibly be autistic!
On dating and friendship apps, people think I want a toy boy, or must have had loads of men, or that I can ‘get anyone’ but that’s not true. I hate being judged. I done that to myself for most of my teens, twenties and thirties for other reasons. 

Parents
  • I think most people put a high prize on "normality" but I'd be inclined to disagree.

  • I pride myself on not feeling normal, not looking normal, acting normal etc. I’ve never fit in, and I’ve never changed to suit others, at the expense of rubbing some NTs up the wrong way. Regarding my appearance, my autism is very obvious to me. I’m surprised most people can’t spot it. Luckily I’ve bought my children up to not care what others think. My daughter is comfy with who she is and how she dresses. She’s doesn’t give a hoot about what people think, and it’s now turned to her advantage. People see her as stylish, edgy, cool and she’s always approached by people with compliments. 

Reply
  • I pride myself on not feeling normal, not looking normal, acting normal etc. I’ve never fit in, and I’ve never changed to suit others, at the expense of rubbing some NTs up the wrong way. Regarding my appearance, my autism is very obvious to me. I’m surprised most people can’t spot it. Luckily I’ve bought my children up to not care what others think. My daughter is comfy with who she is and how she dresses. She’s doesn’t give a hoot about what people think, and it’s now turned to her advantage. People see her as stylish, edgy, cool and she’s always approached by people with compliments. 

Children
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