I want to find a girlfriend but I don't know how

Hi

I was wondering how people go about getting a girlfriend?  I have AS but I have managed to take on the persona of Cary Grant.  And I have perfected it to the point where people find it hard to believe I have Aspergers.  Which is a nice complement in a way, but they don’t see the pain and anxiety I go through when approaching people and speaking to them on the phone or in person.

I have tried going on Datingdirect but its harder when you are Asian and have no idea of how to speak to women.  I took the drastic step of going to a prostitute and it has made me more confident and comfortable with physical affection. 

I really don’t know how I come across, people at work think I am gay because of the way I float in and able to engage people by being non-threatening but I don’t see it.  All I see is someone who is an ugly failure because he can’t find a relationship.  And I am tired of people asking me in disbelief why am I still single; someone I know said I was goodlooking but I am not sure she was joking or actually meant it.  I can’t bring myself to admit I have Asperger’s and resign myself to the fact that people with this affliction have twice as much trouble meeting someone and more often than not remain single because they give up on it.

And I wish I could give up on it too.  I asked my Doctor to increase my medication because its causing me to be unhappy, also it decimates my libido as well (which is a nice side effect).  I wish I could take a pill that completely removes my desire to be with someone and for intimacy. 

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Parents
  • quote "Should I work on my self esteem first and then the rest will follow?"

    No, self esteem is like practicing loving a teddy bear, you are thinking too much,, take some of longmans tips, go out with an anchor(friend) to a place that you really like and enjoy yourself for you and your friend first off all, have a drink or two(if you wish), smile, relax and let cupid and the universe do the rest ! Go for a meal, go watch a comedy play and go to the nearby local pub and find people in there who have also watched the comedy and get chatting naturally. Smile

    Try e-harmony and talk over the phone and facebook and meet up 3 months later in a cafe for coffee.

    Ask your friends / family to help, find that special person, get the word around.

    Failing all that there is always a Thai bride.

     

Reply
  • quote "Should I work on my self esteem first and then the rest will follow?"

    No, self esteem is like practicing loving a teddy bear, you are thinking too much,, take some of longmans tips, go out with an anchor(friend) to a place that you really like and enjoy yourself for you and your friend first off all, have a drink or two(if you wish), smile, relax and let cupid and the universe do the rest ! Go for a meal, go watch a comedy play and go to the nearby local pub and find people in there who have also watched the comedy and get chatting naturally. Smile

    Try e-harmony and talk over the phone and facebook and meet up 3 months later in a cafe for coffee.

    Ask your friends / family to help, find that special person, get the word around.

    Failing all that there is always a Thai bride.

     

Children
No Data