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unbreakable paranioa and anxeity

cmerrick

hey, im an 18 year old on the spectrum,aspergers, and i have a really big problem that i hope someone here can help me with

when ever im in college classes or similar enviroments, i cant help thinking about that other people are thinking about me, what i am doing, the wat i look etc. part of me knows these are silly things to worry about but i cannot stop constantly thinking about and every overhead giggle and group burst of laughter just fuels the paranioa.

to make matters worse the stress from this and other factors in my lif has lead to comfort eating, whihc has ment i am visibly gaining weight which adds to the paranioa relating to the way i look to others and its getting worse and my own parents keep on at me about my weight to the point where they are stressing me out and its adding to the complusion to eat and i dont dare tell them they are a part of the problem because i know they will most likely get angry at me for suggesting they are a part of the problem which they go on at me about.

 

its all to much, if anyone can help i would appreciate it so much

Parents

  • Given that the communication issues, particularly non-verbal, that people on the spectrum endure, it is not surprising that you might have difficulty gauging whether other people are talking about you or otherwise. However even people not on the spectrum seem to have difficulty identifying whether they are being talked about or not, because often the intention of hurtful comments is that the victim doesn't find out directly.

    The ASD complication could make you more anxious, but it would be worth trying to view this in the broader context. One way is to convince yourself that while it might happen occasionally, you are less likely to form the subject of people's comments than you think, because there are so many other things they have to comment on and are also greatly pre-occupied about themselves. So in terms of probability they aren't going to spend much time discussing you, probably brief passing comment at most.

    I'm very tall (6' 7") and was exceptionally tall right through school years (we're talking 50s and 60s here when I was really tall), so I was very self conscious about people noticing my height. But then looking up or noticing was probably an instinctive reaction rather than deliberate, and I managed to convince myself that there thoughts moved on to other things very quickly.

    Besides being noticed nowadays is important. So many people feel that they are not noticed or ignored, it is sometimes quite something to be noticed. So it is worth thinking of this as a good experience. Just be proud you get their attention, for whatever reason, and convince yourself the topic changes to other things very quickly.

    Hope this helps.

Reply

  • Given that the communication issues, particularly non-verbal, that people on the spectrum endure, it is not surprising that you might have difficulty gauging whether other people are talking about you or otherwise. However even people not on the spectrum seem to have difficulty identifying whether they are being talked about or not, because often the intention of hurtful comments is that the victim doesn't find out directly.

    The ASD complication could make you more anxious, but it would be worth trying to view this in the broader context. One way is to convince yourself that while it might happen occasionally, you are less likely to form the subject of people's comments than you think, because there are so many other things they have to comment on and are also greatly pre-occupied about themselves. So in terms of probability they aren't going to spend much time discussing you, probably brief passing comment at most.

    I'm very tall (6' 7") and was exceptionally tall right through school years (we're talking 50s and 60s here when I was really tall), so I was very self conscious about people noticing my height. But then looking up or noticing was probably an instinctive reaction rather than deliberate, and I managed to convince myself that there thoughts moved on to other things very quickly.

    Besides being noticed nowadays is important. So many people feel that they are not noticed or ignored, it is sometimes quite something to be noticed. So it is worth thinking of this as a good experience. Just be proud you get their attention, for whatever reason, and convince yourself the topic changes to other things very quickly.

    Hope this helps.

Children
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