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unbreakable paranioa and anxeity

cmerrick

hey, im an 18 year old on the spectrum,aspergers, and i have a really big problem that i hope someone here can help me with

when ever im in college classes or similar enviroments, i cant help thinking about that other people are thinking about me, what i am doing, the wat i look etc. part of me knows these are silly things to worry about but i cannot stop constantly thinking about and every overhead giggle and group burst of laughter just fuels the paranioa.

to make matters worse the stress from this and other factors in my lif has lead to comfort eating, whihc has ment i am visibly gaining weight which adds to the paranioa relating to the way i look to others and its getting worse and my own parents keep on at me about my weight to the point where they are stressing me out and its adding to the complusion to eat and i dont dare tell them they are a part of the problem because i know they will most likely get angry at me for suggesting they are a part of the problem which they go on at me about.

 

its all to much, if anyone can help i would appreciate it so much

  • wouldnt work, they shout, or talk down to me

     

    its like they think the AS is something that can be overcome and im deliberaterly not putting in the effort to spite them

  • Hi Cmerrick

    Thanks for posting.  I am so sorry to read that you are struggling at the moment.  I think that it is certainly something that a lot of people with AS can understand.  I can identify so much of what you say in my own son.  He is very similar to you and has very similar problems.

    I have posted a link below which will help you to find further advice and assistance and I hope that some of it may be of help to you

    http://www.autism.org.uk/our-services/advice-and-information-services.aspx

    I have to agree that talking to your parents is a very good idea because they may have no idea how you are feeling and the difficulties you are facing. 

    Please remember that everyone here wanting to help so please let us know how you are getting on.

  • Given that the communication issues, particularly non-verbal, that people on the spectrum endure, it is not surprising that you might have difficulty gauging whether other people are talking about you or otherwise. However even people not on the spectrum seem to have difficulty identifying whether they are being talked about or not, because often the intention of hurtful comments is that the victim doesn't find out directly.

    The ASD complication could make you more anxious, but it would be worth trying to view this in the broader context. One way is to convince yourself that while it might happen occasionally, you are less likely to form the subject of people's comments than you think, because there are so many other things they have to comment on and are also greatly pre-occupied about themselves. So in terms of probability they aren't going to spend much time discussing you, probably brief passing comment at most.

    I'm very tall (6' 7") and was exceptionally tall right through school years (we're talking 50s and 60s here when I was really tall), so I was very self conscious about people noticing my height. But then looking up or noticing was probably an instinctive reaction rather than deliberate, and I managed to convince myself that there thoughts moved on to other things very quickly.

    Besides being noticed nowadays is important. So many people feel that they are not noticed or ignored, it is sometimes quite something to be noticed. So it is worth thinking of this as a good experience. Just be proud you get their attention, for whatever reason, and convince yourself the topic changes to other things very quickly.

    Hope this helps.

  • thank you for all the feedback everyone, and yes there are support tutors in college and they are trying to help, but we've tried alot of things and i cant get over the anxeity.

    im still really uncertain about talking to my parents, which i havent done yet

  • Yes, please do consider taking poppyflower's advice and speak to your parents. They probably don't have any idea how bad they are making you feel. You could explain how you are feeling and then tell them how they can help you. For example you could say 'Please don't keep on at me about my weight, it's making me feel worse.'  

    Also, are there any counsellors at college who you could speak to in confidence? They may be able to suggest some ways of lessening your feelings of stress, getting them under control.

    Hope this helps.

     

     

  • Hi Poppyflower, 

    Sorry that you're having this problem. If you're using the latest Internet Explorer then I'm afraid it is causing problems with the forum software. If you can try using firefox or chrome as a browser you may find this resolves the problem you're having whilst we await a solution to Internet Explorer issue. 

  • Wow. Does this sound familiar? I have had this exact same thing since I started school and...I'm sorry to say, I have no direct answer to what made me stop. The first year I just listened  to my I pod. That way, I couldn't here any whispers that the others were making and in a way, that kinda helped. The second year. I actually had a gang of friends around me, so whenever I was feeling like someone was talking about me, I would ask someone, they would say "no" and I would just force myself to believe them.  One of things I find hardest about Aspergers, is that sometimes I don't feel like I can trust my own mind...and I found it really helpfull having someone around that I did trust.

    I hope this helps any