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Loneliness

Rosie

Hello,

I’m having a really hard time with loneliness at the moment and I really don’t know what to do. I’m at university but because I don’t socialise, I don’t have any real friends. I am working on trying to socialise but the longer I’m alone, the harder it is to talk to people.

For example, I haven’t had any human contact today and when one of my housemates finally came home, although I was eagerly waiting for someone to come home all day just so I could see someone, by the time she arrived I was too nervous and exhausted from feeling lonely that I just sat in my room listening to her rustling around.

It’s been like this for months now and it’s gradually getting worse and worse. I really have a hard time socialising. Its hard because socialising terrifies me but I want to make friends so badly. Right now I struggle to even reply to people on message. I even attended my local NAS group but just sat there in terrified silence! 

I think it’s because of the loneliness that my autistic inertia has become particularly bad in the last few weeks. I struggle to do the tiniest of tasks- it takes hours to even have a shower. 

it feels like I’m in stuck in a loop here, has anyone had anything similar and how did you get out of it?

Parents

  • I've also struggled with loneliness and university was a very lonely time. It seems from this site that a lot of people on the spectrum struggle with it.

    I found some friends in university student societies. Not often close friends that I would see away from the society, but at least people I could talk to while I was there (I probably could have made more or closer friends if I'd had less social anxiety and more self-esteem). In subsequent years, volunteering has also been a way of meeting people. Again, not generally close friends, but it's some social to do. The advantage of volunteering, I find, is that I have a set task to concentrate on, so I don't have to make constant small talk. I just focus on my task and listen to the other people talking.

    Other than that, I agree with Debbie that you might be falling into depression and maybe your GP could help you.

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  • I've also struggled with loneliness and university was a very lonely time. It seems from this site that a lot of people on the spectrum struggle with it.

    I found some friends in university student societies. Not often close friends that I would see away from the society, but at least people I could talk to while I was there (I probably could have made more or closer friends if I'd had less social anxiety and more self-esteem). In subsequent years, volunteering has also been a way of meeting people. Again, not generally close friends, but it's some social to do. The advantage of volunteering, I find, is that I have a set task to concentrate on, so I don't have to make constant small talk. I just focus on my task and listen to the other people talking.

    Other than that, I agree with Debbie that you might be falling into depression and maybe your GP could help you.

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