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Loneliness

Rosie

Hello,

I’m having a really hard time with loneliness at the moment and I really don’t know what to do. I’m at university but because I don’t socialise, I don’t have any real friends. I am working on trying to socialise but the longer I’m alone, the harder it is to talk to people.

For example, I haven’t had any human contact today and when one of my housemates finally came home, although I was eagerly waiting for someone to come home all day just so I could see someone, by the time she arrived I was too nervous and exhausted from feeling lonely that I just sat in my room listening to her rustling around.

It’s been like this for months now and it’s gradually getting worse and worse. I really have a hard time socialising. Its hard because socialising terrifies me but I want to make friends so badly. Right now I struggle to even reply to people on message. I even attended my local NAS group but just sat there in terrified silence! 

I think it’s because of the loneliness that my autistic inertia has become particularly bad in the last few weeks. I struggle to do the tiniest of tasks- it takes hours to even have a shower. 

it feels like I’m in stuck in a loop here, has anyone had anything similar and how did you get out of it?

Parents

  • Hi Rosie, sorry to hear this.

    For what it's worth, I found University, by some stretch, the hardest part of my life, from a social point of view. I basically didn't speak to anyone for four years. It just felt like everyone was having fun, while I was stranded.

    What I did, which worked for me, was that I sought out a voluntary group (a charity in my case) where I volunteered. I don't know why, but the people there were much more relatable, and I actually mixed in well with people (even met my future wife there) without making a conscious effort to do so.

    So it's just a thought, but perhaps there are routes by which you could meet other people outside of university, maybe routes that don't feel like 'socialising' (which I also hate!), but which would lead to you having company.

    Hope it works out. 

Reply

  • Hi Rosie, sorry to hear this.

    For what it's worth, I found University, by some stretch, the hardest part of my life, from a social point of view. I basically didn't speak to anyone for four years. It just felt like everyone was having fun, while I was stranded.

    What I did, which worked for me, was that I sought out a voluntary group (a charity in my case) where I volunteered. I don't know why, but the people there were much more relatable, and I actually mixed in well with people (even met my future wife there) without making a conscious effort to do so.

    So it's just a thought, but perhaps there are routes by which you could meet other people outside of university, maybe routes that don't feel like 'socialising' (which I also hate!), but which would lead to you having company.

    Hope it works out. 

Children
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