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Lonely & Depressed

Moo moo

Hi I was diagnosed with ASD in 2011 aged 12. Since diagnosed with anxiety, ME/CFS & depression. Love most animals espc cows I think they're lovely creatures.

I'm an adult now and I have no one in my life who understands me or the things I experience with my ASD and my health problems. My family keep trying to talk to me and include me in family get togethers and they take me out in to town even though they know how it affects me. I'm tired of this and of all the struggles have to face every day. I've spoken to my doctor and I am on a waiting list to see a therapist now but I don't think he or she will understand what it's like to have ASD and my health problems. No one ever understands. My doctor said she did but I know she didn't. It just feels so lonely being like this. I can't make eye contact. I can't bring myself to go out and engage with others, even my family. There's always an awkward atmosphere. I can only wash a few minutes because my skin is so sensitive and I am at risk of falling asleep. Can't eat a lot and my eyes are sensitive to light. I'm sad because of this and I see my sisters who don't have my problems and they are both married and have children and jobs. I have very little, nothing like what they have. I'm in a wheelchair and my speech is rubbish I can't make sense of what I'm trying to say. My sisters kids seem to like me and happy to talk to me but they are the only ones.

I keep hoping it will get better but it never does. Every night I go to bed hoping tomorrow will be better. But so far it never has been.

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  • The first thing that hit me about your post was your love of animals.  Do you have any pets ? I have two Whippets and they are my world. They just fix my head :) 

    I would personally call you a complex case.  My best friend is in a similar situation. GPs and T's are not well equipped (or resourced) tackle ASD with additional health and mobility issues.  From talking with my friend, I see that they are all interrelated, often in very subtle, yet ultimately important ways.

    You were diagnosed some time ago and are (eek politically correct way to say this?) not that old.  Have you heard of Time Lining ? I'm not even sure that's what it's called. It helps you identify the severity of specific issues over time and look at them individually.

    Is there not a bonafide site where people on the spectrum can chat or am I being nieve ?

    I live on a farm and would love to wheel you along to meet the cows, given the understanding that there would be no eye contact (from me, not the cows), I will be singing to ABBA whilst walking very fast.  I'll start talking to the cows, who will obviously reply in comedy cow voices, while my doggies eat rabbit poo :)

  • in reply to matty6

    Hi, thank you for your reply. I don't have any pets but I would love a cow LOL but know that's not realistic at all. I'd like a dog but I couldn't look after it I don't think sadly. Do you have a favourite animal? Your Whippets sound like cuties! 

    I've not heard of time lining but I'll look it up. It might be helpful so thank you so much. My GP has said I'm complex but that things will improve and I need to try to stay positive. Sometimes I write down my problems and seeing them written down can help me feel a bit better and less weighted down.

    Aw wow what's it like living on a farm? Peaceful I bet . I'm in the city unfortunately and it's not ideal very busy and smelly. Don't like it at all. I'd love to live on a farm. I'd get hundreds of cows!

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  • in reply to matty6

    Hi, thank you for your reply. I don't have any pets but I would love a cow LOL but know that's not realistic at all. I'd like a dog but I couldn't look after it I don't think sadly. Do you have a favourite animal? Your Whippets sound like cuties! 

    I've not heard of time lining but I'll look it up. It might be helpful so thank you so much. My GP has said I'm complex but that things will improve and I need to try to stay positive. Sometimes I write down my problems and seeing them written down can help me feel a bit better and less weighted down.

    Aw wow what's it like living on a farm? Peaceful I bet . I'm in the city unfortunately and it's not ideal very busy and smelly. Don't like it at all. I'd love to live on a farm. I'd get hundreds of cows!

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