Lonely & Depressed

Hi I was diagnosed with ASD in 2011 aged 12. Since diagnosed with anxiety, ME/CFS & depression. Love most animals espc cows I think they're lovely creatures.

I'm an adult now and I have no one in my life who understands me or the things I experience with my ASD and my health problems. My family keep trying to talk to me and include me in family get togethers and they take me out in to town even though they know how it affects me. I'm tired of this and of all the struggles have to face every day. I've spoken to my doctor and I am on a waiting list to see a therapist now but I don't think he or she will understand what it's like to have ASD and my health problems. No one ever understands. My doctor said she did but I know she didn't. It just feels so lonely being like this. I can't make eye contact. I can't bring myself to go out and engage with others, even my family. There's always an awkward atmosphere. I can only wash a few minutes because my skin is so sensitive and I am at risk of falling asleep. Can't eat a lot and my eyes are sensitive to light. I'm sad because of this and I see my sisters who don't have my problems and they are both married and have children and jobs. I have very little, nothing like what they have. I'm in a wheelchair and my speech is rubbish I can't make sense of what I'm trying to say. My sisters kids seem to like me and happy to talk to me but they are the only ones.

I keep hoping it will get better but it never does. Every night I go to bed hoping tomorrow will be better. But so far it never has been.

Parents
  • Hi, I hear you.  You are not alone.  As you may have noted from a recent post, I have a weird affinity with cows.  I love them and they seem interested in being with me.

    The feelings you describe are not alien to me, nor many people on this site.  Don't panic, and don't despair!  My chaos seems to run in cycles, perhaps yours will too?  I seem to have periods of blue (verging on really bleak!) that slowly improve to sunnier times.  You describe the horribleness of your feelings, experiences and behaviours in a way that resonate strongly with my own at times.  So you are not alone.  I survive, so will you.  I'm twice your age so have become more resigned and realised that (sometimes) things just get really, really tough..........but they have always got better eventually.

    Stick around moomoo.  Don't panic, keep chatting.

Reply
  • Hi, I hear you.  You are not alone.  As you may have noted from a recent post, I have a weird affinity with cows.  I love them and they seem interested in being with me.

    The feelings you describe are not alien to me, nor many people on this site.  Don't panic, and don't despair!  My chaos seems to run in cycles, perhaps yours will too?  I seem to have periods of blue (verging on really bleak!) that slowly improve to sunnier times.  You describe the horribleness of your feelings, experiences and behaviours in a way that resonate strongly with my own at times.  So you are not alone.  I survive, so will you.  I'm twice your age so have become more resigned and realised that (sometimes) things just get really, really tough..........but they have always got better eventually.

    Stick around moomoo.  Don't panic, keep chatting.

Children
  • Hi. I've only posted once on a post about jobs but I will look round the rest of the site now. It's so cool you like cows as well. They are lovely aren't they I think they amazing. I don't get to see many here but I do love them.

    Sorry for ranting yesterday it did help but I shouldn't have done it not the best way to say hello on a new site :/ it's nice we're not alone and can get through things together. I'm sorry you and others are the same but I'm glad it's not just me. I don't want to sound mean with that though, of wish we didn't have to suffer like this.

    I hope things improve for you.