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Loneliness being autistic at uni

SummerBerries

Sometimes it just really hits me how lonely it is being autistic. I'm going into my second year of uni with no friends. As well as the loneliness I feel like I'm missing out on that "uni culture". I know it's partly my fault because I commute, but I just feel so distant constantly in my whole life and now it's hitting me that I'm not gonna make any friends at uni either. I just feel so isolated. I just want some friends but it seems impossible when people have already established friend groups in first year and I always struggle to actually connect and feel accepted by people. I'm just ranting really because I feel upset that I don't think I'll ever have a proper friend group

Parents

  • I’m sorry - my youngest son was in this situation at college. He actually dropped out of college because he found the social isolation and social anxiety to much and wanted to leave. My son has Selective Mutism which made it all the harder as well. 

    My eldest - who is also autistic - really struggled for a long time too. Eventually though he made friends at an RPG Society - a lot of the people in the society were neurodivergent in various ways - and I think that’s why that was an environment where he could finally connect with people.

    I do think that often autistic people have a better chance of forming good friendships and relationships with other autistic people. Not always the case, but sometimes. Have you tried any kind of online friendship groups? They can be a good start. 

    I just wanted to say that you’re not alone - so many people feel this way. There are undoubtedly other people at your University that are struggling in just the same way. Have you seen Chris Packham talking about his struggles at Uni? There are some videos online. And also I read Bob Mortimer’s autobiography and he had a terrible time at Uni and found it incredibly hard to have anything to do with anyone. I struggled too - but in my second year I met a wonderful man (also autistic)  who I went on to marry - so things really can change just when you least expect it! Good luck - and don’t lose hope! 

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  • I’m sorry - my youngest son was in this situation at college. He actually dropped out of college because he found the social isolation and social anxiety to much and wanted to leave. My son has Selective Mutism which made it all the harder as well. 

    My eldest - who is also autistic - really struggled for a long time too. Eventually though he made friends at an RPG Society - a lot of the people in the society were neurodivergent in various ways - and I think that’s why that was an environment where he could finally connect with people.

    I do think that often autistic people have a better chance of forming good friendships and relationships with other autistic people. Not always the case, but sometimes. Have you tried any kind of online friendship groups? They can be a good start. 

    I just wanted to say that you’re not alone - so many people feel this way. There are undoubtedly other people at your University that are struggling in just the same way. Have you seen Chris Packham talking about his struggles at Uni? There are some videos online. And also I read Bob Mortimer’s autobiography and he had a terrible time at Uni and found it incredibly hard to have anything to do with anyone. I struggled too - but in my second year I met a wonderful man (also autistic)  who I went on to marry - so things really can change just when you least expect it! Good luck - and don’t lose hope! 

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