Loneliness being autistic at uni

Hello, I am sorry you feel so lonely at university.

I do not plan to go to university, however hopefully the advice I can offer you is useful.

SummerBerries said:

I just feel so isolated. I just want some friends but it seems impossible when people have already established friend groups in first year and I always struggle to actually connect and feel accepted by people

This must be really difficult for you. There are likely to be other students who feel isolated too. You just need to find your own tribe.

 You say you want some friends who accept you, is there a society specifically for autistic students at your university? Alternatively, is there a society based around a specific interest that you might like to join? It is usually easier for many autistic people to build friendships based on shared interests.

SummerBerries said:

I know it's partly my fault because I commute, but I just feel so distant constantly in my whole life and now it's hitting me that I'm not gonna make any friends at uni either.

You will find your people and I am sorry that you don’t feel that is possible right now.

I hope your second year of university goes well for you.

We are your autistic community, I hope this makes you feel less alone. We are here for you if you want to chat.

Ausomely Autistic said:

is there a society based around a specific interest that you might like to join

I enjoyed being in several societies at uni - definitely recommended. You might need to try a few though to find the right people, and a comfortable level of engagement.

Not sure how this translates to modern times, but being a young man freshly unleashed on the 80s, I leaned towards societies with a higher likelihood of female participants (hormones aside I also generally find women easier to be around). The baking club for me was ace (didn't get laid, but got fat and had fun).

I was always disappointed I didn't get involved with the amatuer uni theater though... I became friends with a lighting tech and a costume designer towards the end of my degree - it looked exciting and there was obvious camaraderie. The lighting guy actually got paid part-time work out of it while studying.

Once graduated I got a job in another city and was back to square one friend wise. I went on courses instead - sewing, car maintenace, bricklaying etc. These weren't as social as I was expecting, but I did make one good mate (and learned a load of stuff to boot).

Ausomely Autistic said:

is there a society based around a specific interest that you might like to join

I enjoyed being in several societies at uni - definitely recommended. You might need to try a few though to find the right people, and a comfortable level of engagement.

Not sure how this translates to modern times, but being a young man freshly unleashed on the 80s, I leaned towards societies with a higher likelihood of female participants (hormones aside I also generally find women easier to be around). The baking club for me was ace (didn't get laid, but got fat and had fun).

I was always disappointed I didn't get involved with the amatuer uni theater though... I became friends with a lighting tech and a costume designer towards the end of my degree - it looked exciting and there was obvious camaraderie. The lighting guy actually got paid part-time work out of it while studying.

Once graduated I got a job in another city and was back to square one friend wise. I went on courses instead - sewing, car maintenace, bricklaying etc. These weren't as social as I was expecting, but I did make one good mate (and learned a load of stuff to boot).