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Loneliness being autistic at uni

SummerBerries

Sometimes it just really hits me how lonely it is being autistic. I'm going into my second year of uni with no friends. As well as the loneliness I feel like I'm missing out on that "uni culture". I know it's partly my fault because I commute, but I just feel so distant constantly in my whole life and now it's hitting me that I'm not gonna make any friends at uni either. I just feel so isolated. I just want some friends but it seems impossible when people have already established friend groups in first year and I always struggle to actually connect and feel accepted by people. I'm just ranting really because I feel upset that I don't think I'll ever have a proper friend group

Parents

  • I hear you .

    Commutting to uni can feel like you are missing out (experiences, friends, conversations, etc.), but it has a lot of positives that it might help emphasizing (a familiar place, a sense of rootedness, financial, etc.).

    Having both lived in and commuted for studies, I would like to say - but not sure if this is understandable - that being *at* uni I felt such intense isolation and friendlessness. Having a commute for a second degree made it possible for me to give these feelings a justification - and, attending the same seminars as others, by routine, I found friends among those familiar faces also commuting who became lifelong friends.

    Please note that resources at the uni - such as guidance, mentoring, counselling - should be available to you. These might help.

    It might also help to think what your next step will be - what you plan to do after uni - that will help you focus (and maybe avoid of the isolation and ruminations).

  • in reply to James

    Ahhh thank you. Yeah one reason I'm commuting is I was worried that even if I lived at uni, I wouldn't make any friends. 

    And luckily I already have my next steps planned out. I plan on getting a doctorate in my degree... So more uni for me... but it's what I want. 

    Thanks for your advice :) 

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