Published on 12, July, 2020
I honestly want to be dead, I think it would be easier. I cant cope with the pain of life anymore. Its too confusing and stressful, Im not made for this world
I cant cope with having to go to the job centre every week, trying to find a job, worrying about money, dealing with my sons autism and his constant hitting, screaming and demands of me as well as my own autism. I cant cope with my wifes messiness meaning the house is a constant sensory overload. I cant cope with the fear of the neighbours hearing my meltdowns and calling the police. Just smashed up a washing basket with my bare hands in a meltdown and now my hands are bleeding. Dont want to live anymore
I'm glad some of your later posts are saying how you're now calmer. We all have these rage moments. I think we might all need some coping strategies for when life overloads us like this. I'm quite lucky as I have a home office to withdraw to, but as a recently diagnosed sufferer I am still recognising my triggers, and there are loads of them, next doors dog yapping at me every time I leave via the back door doesn't help.
Not sure if you've ever had CBT, but it is worth it. It sounds like you might benefit. You won't know what tomorrow may bring unless you're here. Don't do anything rash, tomorrow might be a brighter day.