Possible Autism/ADHD

Just looking for some advice on wether it’s possible I could have Autism/ADHD that I have masked my whole life through to adulthood that is possibly been masked through above average IQ 125+

 This is not me stating I’m smarter than anyone else I’ve achieved almost nothing in my life until the past year. High school dropout, 1st girlfriend (27 years old)… entry level job 13 years until recently I’ve had a new boss who really understands me and has built me up and I could be possibly getting my 3rd promotion in 1 year (fast tracked it seems). I’ve finally moved out for the first time 30+ years. With all this happening at once I’ve been questioning why? And been really looking into self discovery the past 6 months+ I first thought it could be ADHD now I’m thinking a possible combination ??? 

*Since moving from my childhood home 3years ago/ then moving out 7 months ago I haven’t signed up to a new doctors. I went a few months ago during time off and couldn’t find my passport so just haven’t gotten around to it. My partner pushes me to get signed up but to me it’s never been that big of a deal.

*I now commute 1hour train journey to work if the train is too full and I have people sitting opposite me I never know where to look and start to get overwhelmed I try and hone in on looking at my phone the whole journey. Also on a train journey recently my headphones died and a gentleman a few rows back had a YouTube video playing out loud the whole way. I could just not concentrate and the frustration I had with that gentleman not being quiet, my partner stated that’s not something I should be getting so frustrated over.

*I occasionally go on a night out with employees one stated to me “we think you’re the best manager, you just tell us what to do and are just so awkward when trying to make small talk when first meeting it’s nice” I’ve never thought I was awkward until I heard that comment.

*after reading and re-reading all the traits I don’t fit the bill I’m not making eye contact. I’m known to just stare at people without looking away I’ve been making a real conscious effort recently in 1 on 1 conversations to look away at some point but I really need to think about doing it.

*my partner has always had an issue with my lack of PDA and how I don’t comfort her like other peoples partners do I’ve now come to realise this could be a symptom.

*Sensitivity if my partner light touches me in areas like the side of my body etc I have to shove her hand off it just doesn’t feel nice I think it comes off as a bit blunt to her and for instance if she makes the dog voice to her dogs “high pitched” it makes me cover my ears sometime along with if we’re in an argument and I feel like I can’t get my point across or I’ve already explained my point but to her I haven’t and she keeps prodding and prodding I get so frustrated I cover my ears to revive a “why are you covering your ears” response I’ve only had 2 major anger (frustration) outbursts and it’s been in the past 7 months since we’ve moved out and I always feel so guilty afterwards but never know how to apologise so she normally comes to break the I’ve first which she also mentions which I also feel bad about but I can’t bring myself to do it.

there’s a lot more points I could make but they all seem to overlap/contradict each other when I do my research so I just don’t know if I should be going for an assessment and what for if I do? It’s all so confusing but it’s nice to get it off my chest thank you for anyone that’s had time to read.

Parents
  • Hi,

    I'm going through the same thing at the moment too. 

    I know that a few people have mentioned the Embrace Autism online tests so ill just say that i found them really helpful. They have a couple of different ones, the masking one was very good, it helps you to realise how you may have been hiding your autistic traits for years to cope in a world where they are not always accepted. 

    Have you reached out to any family or freinds about this? I found talking to my family really helpful, a few of them made the connection of autism before i did. 

    Good Luck, hope you find some answers.

  • I’ve done a few tests on the embrace autism website today but I definitely need to try the masking one.

    I’ve researched ADHD for 6 months or so but I’ve been a bit naive and never thought it was possible to have autism as I function well enough until I started researching the past month and a lot matches up I also have a brother who is 34 and never leaves the house apart from work and has probably had 3 social occasions in the past 10 years which has got me wondering. 

    the only person I’ve reached out once to my boss who gave me the websites to research months ago as they’re very much a high IQ person and good with people development so I built up courage over time to tell them

    My boss who has built me up I assume they could be on the spectrum ADHD very high IQ I had a chat with them to express what I was feeling and they told me what websites to research. I applied for a promotion at another site recently but backed out before the interview stage maybe because I was scared??? I’ve passed every test for jobs I’ve applied (considering I’ve only got all C GCSE’s) for banking, graduate jobs only to fail at the final hurdle 1 on 1 interviews I’ve never passed one.

    I’ve had 2 promotions with my current manager at the same site which I didn’t get interviewed for. Anyway I’ve got an interview this week for a new site but they set up a zoom call with me to get to know 1 boss before hand and they sent me in the next week for a 1 hour site tour with the site manager and they also emailed me all the prep questions so I know what to expect. Upon researching about interview support for neurodiversity all these options came up
    •meeting people first so it’s not new people
    •getting to see the site first so it’s not a new place
    •allowing questions in advance so they know what to expect

    so now I’m wondering wether my boss has any idea or it’s just a coincidence? Sorry about information overload but I’ve never got any of this off my chest as I don’t know who to talk to as my partner or family would never think there’s a chance of me being autistic they have no idea about it.

    but apart from that I just don’t think my family would get it they’re very old fashioned and rarely use the internet .

  • Hi MD1, I don't think the careful pre-interview measures are coincidental. I think that your boss wishes you to do well and realises that a few adjustments are needed to help you demonstrate your abilities at the interview stage. Your boss sounds as though they have a good awareness of the needs of ND individuals. 

  • Woke up at 04:50am it’s now 05:35am I can’t get back to sleep my mind is buzzing after reading all your lovely reply’s (I can hear the clock ticking as loud as I ever have before I.e staying at my parents house over the weekend)

    I feel relieved to finally get all of this off my chest that has built up over the years, I just wish I had the confidence to say some of this in person to my partner, family or boss. I just don’t think it would be acknowledged well as I’m still doubtful after all this research. I think they would probably just think I’m crazy.

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  • Woke up at 04:50am it’s now 05:35am I can’t get back to sleep my mind is buzzing after reading all your lovely reply’s (I can hear the clock ticking as loud as I ever have before I.e staying at my parents house over the weekend)

    I feel relieved to finally get all of this off my chest that has built up over the years, I just wish I had the confidence to say some of this in person to my partner, family or boss. I just don’t think it would be acknowledged well as I’m still doubtful after all this research. I think they would probably just think I’m crazy.

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