Possible Autism/ADHD

Just looking for some advice on wether it’s possible I could have Autism/ADHD that I have masked my whole life through to adulthood that is possibly been masked through above average IQ 125+

 This is not me stating I’m smarter than anyone else I’ve achieved almost nothing in my life until the past year. High school dropout, 1st girlfriend (27 years old)… entry level job 13 years until recently I’ve had a new boss who really understands me and has built me up and I could be possibly getting my 3rd promotion in 1 year (fast tracked it seems). I’ve finally moved out for the first time 30+ years. With all this happening at once I’ve been questioning why? And been really looking into self discovery the past 6 months+ I first thought it could be ADHD now I’m thinking a possible combination ??? 

*Since moving from my childhood home 3years ago/ then moving out 7 months ago I haven’t signed up to a new doctors. I went a few months ago during time off and couldn’t find my passport so just haven’t gotten around to it. My partner pushes me to get signed up but to me it’s never been that big of a deal.

*I now commute 1hour train journey to work if the train is too full and I have people sitting opposite me I never know where to look and start to get overwhelmed I try and hone in on looking at my phone the whole journey. Also on a train journey recently my headphones died and a gentleman a few rows back had a YouTube video playing out loud the whole way. I could just not concentrate and the frustration I had with that gentleman not being quiet, my partner stated that’s not something I should be getting so frustrated over.

*I occasionally go on a night out with employees one stated to me “we think you’re the best manager, you just tell us what to do and are just so awkward when trying to make small talk when first meeting it’s nice” I’ve never thought I was awkward until I heard that comment.

*after reading and re-reading all the traits I don’t fit the bill I’m not making eye contact. I’m known to just stare at people without looking away I’ve been making a real conscious effort recently in 1 on 1 conversations to look away at some point but I really need to think about doing it.

*my partner has always had an issue with my lack of PDA and how I don’t comfort her like other peoples partners do I’ve now come to realise this could be a symptom.

*Sensitivity if my partner light touches me in areas like the side of my body etc I have to shove her hand off it just doesn’t feel nice I think it comes off as a bit blunt to her and for instance if she makes the dog voice to her dogs “high pitched” it makes me cover my ears sometime along with if we’re in an argument and I feel like I can’t get my point across or I’ve already explained my point but to her I haven’t and she keeps prodding and prodding I get so frustrated I cover my ears to revive a “why are you covering your ears” response I’ve only had 2 major anger (frustration) outbursts and it’s been in the past 7 months since we’ve moved out and I always feel so guilty afterwards but never know how to apologise so she normally comes to break the I’ve first which she also mentions which I also feel bad about but I can’t bring myself to do it.

there’s a lot more points I could make but they all seem to overlap/contradict each other when I do my research so I just don’t know if I should be going for an assessment and what for if I do? It’s all so confusing but it’s nice to get it off my chest thank you for anyone that’s had time to read.

Parents
  • I tried to approach my family few times, and it follows the same scenario everytime pretty much:

    I say my part, they appeared to listen, they don't comment, or ask questions, so I finish my part and I hope it made them think, but nothing more wrong, they go back to the regular way they talk to me and treat me, with those bits that I find ''upsetting'', next time I try to talk, and probe, I find out they do not remember previous conversation

    I sort off ignore them now, especially mom

    It was easier with my 3 friends, 2 of them ableists to the bone, eventually they acknowledged, and now I can say ''us''vs ''you'' without making them go 'shitzu-mode''

    Toclarify:

    IQ is irrelevant, there are both allistic and autistic with low and high IQ, though high IQ usually allows to avoid detection for longer, until first burnout usually.

    there is no severe, high or low functioning autism, each of us can be either depending on circumstances

    Just autistic

    or 

    simply autistic

Reply
  • I tried to approach my family few times, and it follows the same scenario everytime pretty much:

    I say my part, they appeared to listen, they don't comment, or ask questions, so I finish my part and I hope it made them think, but nothing more wrong, they go back to the regular way they talk to me and treat me, with those bits that I find ''upsetting'', next time I try to talk, and probe, I find out they do not remember previous conversation

    I sort off ignore them now, especially mom

    It was easier with my 3 friends, 2 of them ableists to the bone, eventually they acknowledged, and now I can say ''us''vs ''you'' without making them go 'shitzu-mode''

    Toclarify:

    IQ is irrelevant, there are both allistic and autistic with low and high IQ, though high IQ usually allows to avoid detection for longer, until first burnout usually.

    there is no severe, high or low functioning autism, each of us can be either depending on circumstances

    Just autistic

    or 

    simply autistic

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