• Replies 5 replies
  • Subscribers 83 subscribers
  • Views 777 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Bad thoughts

Laura

I'm struggling with my thoughts lately. 

I do struggle mentally. I have done for a couple of years since my sister passed away. Her death was a huge shock and a massive change which I've been unable to adjust to. I started to self harm after and I still do that now, I can't stop. It's like the cutting and burning just soothes the pain I go through. My mental struggles are horrible, I've struggled with suicide and depression and have PTSD. On top of the ASD it's all so overwhelming. I'm with MH services but they don't understand my ASD at all and completely disregard it. At the start of the year they shoved me in hospital and left me there months it was horrible.

I grew up in a bad house, my sister and I got hurt all the time. Our parents weren't like most parents, I'm sure that's why I struggle so much now. It put me off people from the word go. The ASD doesn't help, I'm no good with people. I can't interact with anyone, my anxiety gets bad and I freeze up can't say anything.

Sometimes I just really want to die and other times I really want to live. My mind is a constant buzz. 

I'm here now to meet others like me, hopefully find advice and support and maybe I can help some others in the same boat.

Parents

  • Sorry to hear about your sister. It must be unimaginably difficult to lose the person who really understood the trauma you both went through as children. I am sure your sister would not want you to harm yourself.

    You are right that MH services don't understand autism. I have been on the receiving end of that, as have many others on here. Your experience of being left in hospital for so long sounds horrific. Hospitals are not good environments for autistic people to be in at all. Did you have a MH advocate to speak up for you?

    Your MH team should be following the MH Act Code of Practice https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/code-of-practice-mental-health-act-1983 and maybe they need reminding of chapter 20 if they try to hospitalise you again:

    the least restrictive way of achieving the proposed assessment or treatment must be identified (see paragraph 14.11) and for people with learning disabilities or autism, this means they should usually be treated in the community. Inappropriate care in a hospital can lead to a worsening of challenging behaviour, which can cause a negative cycle of feelings of frustration leading to challenging behaviour and increased restriction of liberty.

    Try and remember and hold on to those times when you really want to live. Write down your thoughts when you feel like that. Then you have a visual reminder when you experience those bad thoughts. You have remind yourself that you have felt positive about life before and that you will do so again.

    I suffer from severe anxiety and situational mutism too. It's tough. 

    I hope that you will find it helpful to be here. You will find so much more understanding on here than from MH services for sure.

Reply

  • Sorry to hear about your sister. It must be unimaginably difficult to lose the person who really understood the trauma you both went through as children. I am sure your sister would not want you to harm yourself.

    You are right that MH services don't understand autism. I have been on the receiving end of that, as have many others on here. Your experience of being left in hospital for so long sounds horrific. Hospitals are not good environments for autistic people to be in at all. Did you have a MH advocate to speak up for you?

    Your MH team should be following the MH Act Code of Practice https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/code-of-practice-mental-health-act-1983 and maybe they need reminding of chapter 20 if they try to hospitalise you again:

    the least restrictive way of achieving the proposed assessment or treatment must be identified (see paragraph 14.11) and for people with learning disabilities or autism, this means they should usually be treated in the community. Inappropriate care in a hospital can lead to a worsening of challenging behaviour, which can cause a negative cycle of feelings of frustration leading to challenging behaviour and increased restriction of liberty.

    Try and remember and hold on to those times when you really want to live. Write down your thoughts when you feel like that. Then you have a visual reminder when you experience those bad thoughts. You have remind yourself that you have felt positive about life before and that you will do so again.

    I suffer from severe anxiety and situational mutism too. It's tough. 

    I hope that you will find it helpful to be here. You will find so much more understanding on here than from MH services for sure.

Children
No Data