Advice re an oppressive comment

Hi all

I'm writing as I have recently spiralled into a cycle of shut downs and meltdowns and am struggling to get out as I'm confused. A key person in my support network told me that 'austic people can be difficult'. I challenged this as it felt to me like a stigmatising comment, and using a negative stereotype of autistic people. My issue was the person attempting to justify it and leaving me feeling powerless to continue challenging as by doing so it makes me seem like I am indeed being difficult. I'm also female, and this is often a negative word used against women as well. My mind is now consumed with this label - 'difficult' - and I can't stop obsessing about it. I'm left questioning if I am difficult, and my autism means I can't see it, or if I'm right and this was an oppressive comment, further bolstered by the attempts at justification, and that it's okay for me to maintain my position, or even avoid it completely until this person has had some time to reflect. It's very triggering as before I was diagnosed as an adult I spent my whole life feeling like I was wrong and difficult, and post-diagnosis have been working hard to rid myself of this internalised narrative. This has really set me back.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this, and any advice?

Many thanks

Nya

Parents
  • Hi Sarah

    Please help me understand if I've missed your point: Your links are about challenging behaviour, which serves to confirm that I am being 'difficult'? The context of the comment from my support person came as I was reflecting on an online group I went to and said that I didn't connect with everyone there, but that it was good overall. He then said autistic people can be difficult. I think the links you have shared are based on an assumption that I was demonstrating some kind of challenging behaviour at the time this conversation started? Or, am I just completely wrong and potentially was just being difficult? I'm very susceptible to believing what other people tell me about myself, so would appreciate some clarification so I am not working on a wrong assumption.

    Many thanks

    Nya

Reply
  • Hi Sarah

    Please help me understand if I've missed your point: Your links are about challenging behaviour, which serves to confirm that I am being 'difficult'? The context of the comment from my support person came as I was reflecting on an online group I went to and said that I didn't connect with everyone there, but that it was good overall. He then said autistic people can be difficult. I think the links you have shared are based on an assumption that I was demonstrating some kind of challenging behaviour at the time this conversation started? Or, am I just completely wrong and potentially was just being difficult? I'm very susceptible to believing what other people tell me about myself, so would appreciate some clarification so I am not working on a wrong assumption.

    Many thanks

    Nya

Children
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