Published on 12, July, 2020
I have recently found out that my autistic partner has paid to watch sexual activity online. Our current sex life is none existent and he's clearly told me that he's not interested in sex anymore. Now I understand this as sex is a MASSIVE sensory thing for him, a big overload, hence his decision. And I'm not upset that I have found this (phone bill) as everyone needs their needs meeting. And him doing that is meaning he is control and an overload will not happen as he noes his limits. However do I tell him it's ok and I know?
How would you respond if it was you? Would you be relieved I knew? Or embarrassed?
He struggles with conversation about our relationship and any issues etc but he is afraid of what will be said. I know he loves me dearly and shows me in his own way that this is the case.
Thanks for getting this far, appreciate it. x
Hmm.... difficult. I'd definitely go for the open honest approach, but how do you feel about the sex issue? Absolutely, whether asexual or highly sexed, the sensory elements of autism are bound to play out in the bedroom. But however they play out they have to meet both party's needs. Sounds like you need an open discussion about sexual happiness without overload - none of us has magic answers to that. It'll be down to whatever you both feel comfortable with.