ASD is a fact that explains things about me, not an excuse that forgives the chaos that can emanate from me.

Unknown said:

I am who I am.  I have a responsibility not to cause unnecessary pain and anguish to others - but I do.  I never mean to.

What is necessary? The distinction between want and need is perspective. The solder crawling through a war zone bullets whistling over head thinks 'I need to get home to my wife and child, I need to get through this alive.' For the sniper who's about to shoot him these are wants not needs. The sniper thinks to himself, 'I need to protect my county, my family back at home. I need to do my duty.'

Do you have a need to be yourself, to be true to yourself? What if being yourself makes others uncomfortable. How does your need to be yourself balance against their need to be comfortable? What if trying not to be yourself makes you clinically depressed and doesn't work that well anyway? I'd say the need to be yourself and accepted for yourself outweighs others needs to be comfortable.

Both the solider and snipper have a necessity to kill each other - so forgive me, but I don't fully grasp your point there.

I'm not trying to talk about whether I make people feel uncomfortable here, I'm taking about when my behaviours and thoughts cause actual practical difficulties for me - and therefore, also for those around me.

To put it another way - how much of the harm should be ascribed to my ASD hard wiring, and how much of it is just because I'm an objectionable, dismissive, cantankerous old git.  Surely, there is a component of both in us all and so I'm trying to get a handle on which is which with the aim to be better.

I'm quite surprised at just how much "Well, I'm ASD - so everyone else has to suck it up" rather than "I'm ASD and I want to be a better ASD human - can you help me figure this out."

Unknown said:

I'm not trying to talk about whether I make people feel uncomfortable here, I'm taking about when my behaviours and thoughts cause actual practical difficulties for me - and therefore, also for those around me.

Your references to harm are rather obtuse and mysterious. In my experience most 'harm' people experience as a result of autism amounts to offence or discomfort. I.E. and autistic person said or did something that they found offensive, or creepy or rude etc. If you're talking about something else it'd be helpfull if you elaborate.

You don't need more examples - you have nailed the solutions perfectly.  Thank you.  Obviously, I know these things already in my logical brain......but passing over the control and surrendering some of my autonomy is very counter to my emotional instincts.  I will continue to try and resolve this dichotomy for everyones sake.

Thanks for taking the time Peter.

You don't need more examples - you have nailed the solutions perfectly.  Thank you.  Obviously, I know these things already in my logical brain......but passing over the control and surrendering some of my autonomy is very counter to my emotional instincts.  I will continue to try and resolve this dichotomy for everyones sake.

Thanks for taking the time Peter.