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I can't relate to most autistic people

NAS81714

I find it so hard. I don't feel like I'm a part of either the neurotypical or neurodivergent commmunity. Ive been diagnosed with adhd so a lot of typical autistic traits don't apply to me...I'm in an autistic coaching group with other young males but they all seem to be interested in stereotypical autisitc traits like having an interest in dugeons and dragons and stuff like that. I want to meet new people but it seems everything is so forced in meetup groups and is aimed for "geeky" people like that.

I don't really have any "special interests". I like working out, driving, writing. I'm a straight white male, 19, and my interests or more or less the same as NTs my age: i was briefly at university and I enjoyed clubbing etc and going out getting drunk, but it seems most autistic people don't like that? I can be successful with women as well although nto as much as NTs...

Had to go to my local mental health centre the other dya because I think a relapse in my depression started and they gave me links to local autistic groups...all of which seem to focus on people with severe, low functioning autism rather than being mildly high functioning autism, but mild enough to have social difficulties etc. 

It feels hopeless.

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  • I have a theory that ADHD is very different than Autism. From what I've read, we share the hyper-active Gamma waves in our brains, but all the ADHD individuals I know, love the chaos while Autistic individuals need their external environment and to fine-tune their hyper focus to balance it.

    Other than that, I have noticed that ADHD people are amazing at communicating well and understanding both NeuroTypes - a bit like a bridge between worlds. But everyone I know and have met are incredibly smart! 

  • in reply to JuniperFromGallifrey

    They are very different, for instance - people always tried to tell me as an autistic person i would love routine. As it happens I hate routines, i never plan anything and just make things up as i go along. I was always told to plan my essays in school etc but I never planned - i just wrote, and would still get top marks. I wrote a novel with no real plan, just developed it as i wrote and it's pretty good.

  • in reply to NAS81714

    Haha. NeuroTypicals get this bit wrong! When we understand a system around us, we can navigate better. We thrive in order, it isn't us creating the order, exactly. It's the NT who need to be reliable. Parents cannot be crazy-making or they will cause unnecessary problems for their Autistic kids. Society needs a certain amount of structures. One cannot make sense of nonsense. 

  • in reply to James H

    What's important is that you find life interesting. I don't think autistic Individuals find it more or less so than non-autistics, we just don't speak with their codes and can't always shut our brain down when it's excitedly making incredible connexions. And THEN we tend to feel intensely about these new findings. Sensory impact.

    The problem with life is one needs to make money and survive - hopefully thrive. Part of thriving is having passions. Some may be like a lovely meal - something to ingest and move on from. Others may become part of our daily routine. :)

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  • in reply to James H

    What's important is that you find life interesting. I don't think autistic Individuals find it more or less so than non-autistics, we just don't speak with their codes and can't always shut our brain down when it's excitedly making incredible connexions. And THEN we tend to feel intensely about these new findings. Sensory impact.

    The problem with life is one needs to make money and survive - hopefully thrive. Part of thriving is having passions. Some may be like a lovely meal - something to ingest and move on from. Others may become part of our daily routine. :)

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