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I can't relate to most autistic people

NAS81714

I find it so hard. I don't feel like I'm a part of either the neurotypical or neurodivergent commmunity. Ive been diagnosed with adhd so a lot of typical autistic traits don't apply to me...I'm in an autistic coaching group with other young males but they all seem to be interested in stereotypical autisitc traits like having an interest in dugeons and dragons and stuff like that. I want to meet new people but it seems everything is so forced in meetup groups and is aimed for "geeky" people like that.

I don't really have any "special interests". I like working out, driving, writing. I'm a straight white male, 19, and my interests or more or less the same as NTs my age: i was briefly at university and I enjoyed clubbing etc and going out getting drunk, but it seems most autistic people don't like that? I can be successful with women as well although nto as much as NTs...

Had to go to my local mental health centre the other dya because I think a relapse in my depression started and they gave me links to local autistic groups...all of which seem to focus on people with severe, low functioning autism rather than being mildly high functioning autism, but mild enough to have social difficulties etc. 

It feels hopeless.

Parents

  • I can relate to a lot of what you say and don't feel typically autistic on the surface but it's obvious underneath. What I have been after is a peer group of similar people to me "high functioning". Groups near me are aimed at children, parents or people with greater needs. Or people who want friends. I too feel in between both camps but I kind of feel ok with identifying that way...it's more just wanting similar people to talk through stuff with. I too was sign posted by the mental health team to various organisations which I don't feel are suitable. Which area of the country are you? I've read similar threads recently. 

  • in reply to Deleted User

    I'm in south Essex.

    Even amongst high functioning though, I struggle to relate, the high functioning autistic people I have met seem to be interested in those RPG games and prefer being alone. I mostly hate being alone other than certain times of the day.

    Like I said, the meetup groups that I have been signposted to seem to be aimed at more severe autism. It's very frustrating. The NHS reffered me to their "aspergers service" and all I got was a course of online "coping skills" sessions...held in the middle of the afternoon in the working day.

  • in reply to NAS81714

    I don't know what RPG is. I need time alone but I actually really enjoy being around people as long as it's on my terms. Im not on social medis but  have you had a look on FB or twitter? Yes! A lot of the stuff I was sign posted to was in the middle of the working day. I've since been able to access some of it but found its not really for me. I would love to start my own group but don't know how.

  • in reply to Deleted User

    Dungeons and dragons that sort of thing. Never had any interest in that.

    A look on FB or twitter for what?

    TBH my depression would 100% be solved i think if i had a few friends and a girlfriend or at least the prospect of those. Right now i don't see how thats going to happen as ive struggled in full time work (only one job tbh), so been in and out of the gig economy. Mate I just want to go out get wasted and laid like half the adult male population my age and maybe make one or two semi meaningful relationships along the way. Instead I'm looking at dating apps which is purely for hook ups or with girls who want the absolutely perfect partner, and aimlessly finding people on snapchat trying to make friends there

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  • in reply to Deleted User

    Dungeons and dragons that sort of thing. Never had any interest in that.

    A look on FB or twitter for what?

    TBH my depression would 100% be solved i think if i had a few friends and a girlfriend or at least the prospect of those. Right now i don't see how thats going to happen as ive struggled in full time work (only one job tbh), so been in and out of the gig economy. Mate I just want to go out get wasted and laid like half the adult male population my age and maybe make one or two semi meaningful relationships along the way. Instead I'm looking at dating apps which is purely for hook ups or with girls who want the absolutely perfect partner, and aimlessly finding people on snapchat trying to make friends there

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