Square Peg

I am not one of the superheroes, and I wish I was. I have an agonising combination of needing to be authentic and individualistic, and yet  feeling at best uncomfortable, at worst distressed, about how my defaulting to minority or even anomalous status in many realms leaves me exposed to the tortuous silent or vocal (by turns) judgement of NT-biased societal consensus. 

But it's better to be one's true self than fit in, have an outward cushion of conformist comfort, and an inner core screaming soundlessly in protest at the suppression of the true self - with a total breakdown (rather than regular burnout) deferred to a future point with a scarily unknowable end-point on the countdown clock.

I am not one of the superheroes, and I wish I was. I have an agonising combination of needing to be authentic and individualistic, and yet  feeling at best uncomfortable, at worst distressed, about how my defaulting to minority or even anomalous status in many realms leaves me exposed to the tortuous silent or vocal (by turns) judgement of NT-biased societal consensus. 

But it's better to be one's true self than fit in, have an outward cushion of conformist comfort, and an inner core screaming soundlessly in protest at the suppression of the true self - with a total breakdown (rather than regular burnout) deferred to a future point with a scarily unknowable end-point on the countdown clock.

I like to think, in the vain of trying to find a silver lining, that we exist to help humanity progress. If it weren't for those of us who are the Forager bees of the hive, we'd all be Drones who were trying to mate with the queen bee. Nothing would progress, no advancent in evolution would occur.

Or have I drunk the autism cool aid here?

I believe in our purpose. I guess we just have to suffer the loneliness of that challenge as consequence