Diagnosed yesterday….

How did you feel after receiving your confirmation of Autism?

I’m confused and feeling all jumbled up. I knew I was but the confirmation was affirmation for me and to here they agreed that my autism was layered by years of trauma and that mental health worker who insisted it was just trauma (and dumped me unceremoniously when I challenged him) caused me more. Thus I feel justified, seen and heard.

I was relieved but today I woke feeling unsettled as for me it’s a huge thing after 63 yrs of feeling like an alien on this mysterious planet. My enabler was stoked for me as she drove me to the last stage ADOS assessment and was told on the spot but reactions from others has been bland. I don’t know what I expected but having some sort of acknowledgement hasn’t arrived. Is this wrong? Or is this a standard way people react when you disclose what I see as a momentous life altering diagnosis? I don’t usually expect anything from anyone but this is an important factor that explains my behaviour, there’s a reason, there’s an explanation. For once I expected something, anything.

It’s early days but I’m trying not to freak out I should be use to this scenario but it’s the most important thing to ever happen to me but the family hasn’t called, talked to me about how I am, what does it mean…on and on….

it looks selfish when I see it in print but how did you handle it? Did you experience the same thoughts? Meet with same responses? Or non responses.

hellbellNerd

Parents
  • I cried. I didn’t want to see it, but I did at the same time. I mean, I knew I was autistic 3 years prior, but it was the confirmation I needed.

    Close family knew, so listened to any details I shared. Only my son was surprised by it. I think he thought it was all in my head, and stuff that I could ‘work on’, but he’s fine with it now.

    I waited 2 months before I told a manager. I was bursting at this point. I wanted to tell everyone. I was still upset inside, you know, because of the life I’ve had to endure etc, but I was happy, and proud.

    Other people at work, of the few I told, don’t seem interested. One person just listened, one wanted an explanation of autism,  because she didn’t know anyone with it. A third, looked apologetic,  yet did sort of get it when I mentioned a little. 
    So many I haven’t told. They don’t need to know. I really don’t care anymore. I feel so much more whole, and that’s the main thing. 

Reply
  • I cried. I didn’t want to see it, but I did at the same time. I mean, I knew I was autistic 3 years prior, but it was the confirmation I needed.

    Close family knew, so listened to any details I shared. Only my son was surprised by it. I think he thought it was all in my head, and stuff that I could ‘work on’, but he’s fine with it now.

    I waited 2 months before I told a manager. I was bursting at this point. I wanted to tell everyone. I was still upset inside, you know, because of the life I’ve had to endure etc, but I was happy, and proud.

    Other people at work, of the few I told, don’t seem interested. One person just listened, one wanted an explanation of autism,  because she didn’t know anyone with it. A third, looked apologetic,  yet did sort of get it when I mentioned a little. 
    So many I haven’t told. They don’t need to know. I really don’t care anymore. I feel so much more whole, and that’s the main thing. 

Children