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Advice for potentially undiagnosed

NAS81509

Hi everyone, first post here. I am after advice and knowledge from people here. 

So as I have gotten older I'm feeling a bit different to people and finding life a bit tricky. This has lead me to ask questions about myself, my actions and how I am interacting with the world. After having a bit of a breakdown in regards to an attempted relationship I found myself in therapy. This has caused me to ask even more questions. Part of me feels like I'm actually learning about who I am. 

So the big question im asking myself is, do I possible have some mild ASD/ADHD. I don't want to try and seek out a diagnosis at this point as I'm unsure if it's something else that looks similar.

I feel like this could be a long post but I want to keep it short. So what sort of things should I look out for in my life? I have low confidence and self esteem, don't really enjoy making eye contact, I don't seem to have any sensory sensitivities except disliking a lot of foods (fussy eater),Im not very interested in small talk but will talk all day about my hobbies if someone will listen, I'm uncertain what counts as stimming however I like to beatbox to myself and shake my leg a lot. Becoming more emotional sensitive as I get older is something that's confused me a bit.

One very important thing to consider is a smoke cigarettes and weed every day. Obviously this is not Ideal, but I have a sort of routine where I like to sit in the garden at night and play my favourite phone game with a smoke. Super relaxing time for me.

When I view myself as a youngster I can see traits of ADHD but as I have gotten older things seem a bit different. I don't want to intrude here if I'm actually an NT but at this stage I think I need to figure it out as it could impact me more and more if it is the case. I haven't planned what to write so sorry if it's disorganized.

Thanks for taking the time to read my post. I look forward to hearing from you. 

Parents

  • If you can afford the time (financially & life goals wise) to take some time for yourself to reflect (upon yourself) - then do it.

    Its a super self indulgent thing to do.

    My journey revolved around all manner of potential traits, personality disorders, disregulations and soothing behaviours.

    LOTS of reading.  LOTS of youtube vids.  All super dangerous in isolation, but ultimately enlightening if you drown in the whole soup of it - you start seeing the flotsam and jetsam distinctions.  It takes time and volume.  It is quite scary and very lonely.

    Don't beat yourself up too much and don't try to get all revolutionary on yourself and your coping mechanisms too quickly.

    I repeatedly "very nearly" did radical things that every sane NT would deem wholly sensible, but that might have done me substantial harm.  I can only now see that "harm" pitfall with the benefit of hindsight (and more importantly, insight.).

    Tweak your behaviours and see how you feel - without radically changing - just pay careful attention to yourself as you tweak.

    Then push yourself a bit harder in various directions and see how that affects your core self.

    Personally, I then needed to allow myself to find my limits - sort of "how low can you go" sort of stuff.  Horrific, to be honest - but was the only way that I thought I could truly unmask my truth.  For me, despite loads of "near-fits" that never actually felt true to my inner self but that were the best "logical fit" under analysis.........when I was finally shown the light, there was an absolute clarity and revelation that I have never felt before.  I'd love for you to share that experience!  It was SOOOOOO fabulous to have clarity following such a long period of uncertainty and self doubt.  FYI - it hit me from left-field in the side of the head!  

    I wish you well.  Good luck, and stay sane.

Reply

  • If you can afford the time (financially & life goals wise) to take some time for yourself to reflect (upon yourself) - then do it.

    Its a super self indulgent thing to do.

    My journey revolved around all manner of potential traits, personality disorders, disregulations and soothing behaviours.

    LOTS of reading.  LOTS of youtube vids.  All super dangerous in isolation, but ultimately enlightening if you drown in the whole soup of it - you start seeing the flotsam and jetsam distinctions.  It takes time and volume.  It is quite scary and very lonely.

    Don't beat yourself up too much and don't try to get all revolutionary on yourself and your coping mechanisms too quickly.

    I repeatedly "very nearly" did radical things that every sane NT would deem wholly sensible, but that might have done me substantial harm.  I can only now see that "harm" pitfall with the benefit of hindsight (and more importantly, insight.).

    Tweak your behaviours and see how you feel - without radically changing - just pay careful attention to yourself as you tweak.

    Then push yourself a bit harder in various directions and see how that affects your core self.

    Personally, I then needed to allow myself to find my limits - sort of "how low can you go" sort of stuff.  Horrific, to be honest - but was the only way that I thought I could truly unmask my truth.  For me, despite loads of "near-fits" that never actually felt true to my inner self but that were the best "logical fit" under analysis.........when I was finally shown the light, there was an absolute clarity and revelation that I have never felt before.  I'd love for you to share that experience!  It was SOOOOOO fabulous to have clarity following such a long period of uncertainty and self doubt.  FYI - it hit me from left-field in the side of the head!  

    I wish you well.  Good luck, and stay sane.

Children
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