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Rudeness

HollyTheWally

I just come back from a walk and I'm feeling a bit down. As it's a nice day I decided a nice walk through the country would be nice, which it was until I saw this woman. Seeing her was fine but I felt myself getting anxious as she came over to me and I had a feeling she would talk to me which I'm not very good at. She did talk to me and asked where this village was which I knew and she asked for directions.

I'm not sure how you guys respond when this happens but my whole body tenses up, my throat gets tight, my stomach knots and I can't say a thing. I try to, I want to but my brain freezes and nothing happens. This woman looked at me sharply and then she sighed and told me I was rude and she walked off shaking her head at me and saying about my rudeness.

If only she knew the massive battle I was having with myself at the time and how much I really did want to answer her question.

Once again autism and anxiety won and made me look like a horrible person.

Feeling very down and disappointed now.

Parents

  • I am sorry you feel this way.  Please don’t let other people’s assumptions about you make you feel down.

    HollyTheWally said:
    I'm not sure how you guys respond when this happens but my whole body tenses up, my throat gets tight, my stomach knots and I can't say a thing. I try to, I want to but my brain freezes and nothing happens

    This sounds really horrible, I am sure many of us in this autistic community have experienced something similar. You are not alone. I used to have situational mutism which sounds very similar to your freeze response to anxiety. Be kind to yourself, your autistic brain was only trying to protect you from an uncomfortable conversation.

    HollyTheWally said:
    Once again autism and anxiety won and made me look like a horrible person

    I know this might be difficult to recognise now but your autistic brain was only trying to protect yourself from this woman. 

    Your feelings and thoughts about engaging in interaction with this woman are perfectly valid and you don’t deserve to have a potentially great day ruined by a stranger.

    We are here for you, we are your autistic community. We will validate you, regardless of how you feel.

    I hope this response helps you feel slightly better.

Reply

  • I am sorry you feel this way.  Please don’t let other people’s assumptions about you make you feel down.

    HollyTheWally said:
    I'm not sure how you guys respond when this happens but my whole body tenses up, my throat gets tight, my stomach knots and I can't say a thing. I try to, I want to but my brain freezes and nothing happens

    This sounds really horrible, I am sure many of us in this autistic community have experienced something similar. You are not alone. I used to have situational mutism which sounds very similar to your freeze response to anxiety. Be kind to yourself, your autistic brain was only trying to protect you from an uncomfortable conversation.

    HollyTheWally said:
    Once again autism and anxiety won and made me look like a horrible person

    I know this might be difficult to recognise now but your autistic brain was only trying to protect yourself from this woman. 

    Your feelings and thoughts about engaging in interaction with this woman are perfectly valid and you don’t deserve to have a potentially great day ruined by a stranger.

    We are here for you, we are your autistic community. We will validate you, regardless of how you feel.

    I hope this response helps you feel slightly better.

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