Autistic young person struggling with feeling good enough

My son is 19 yrs old. He was diagnosed in his early teens. Despite his outward confidence, he struggles with self esteem, confidence and mental health. He feels he is never going to be good enough, not a real man, not as capable as other young people his age, not achieving in the way they do, will never have a relationship or role in this world. He wants to die, but says he isn't even brave enough to make that happen. He's  breaking my heart and I am beyond worried for him. I've tried to explain that lots of 19yr olds feel this way, we don't suddenly turn into an adult when we hit 18! He has no friends, and no desire to go out and meet people. I wish there were safe local groups for young people like him to attend, just to meet similar people and see that he's not alone. We're in the South East and I'm yet to find anything he can attend. He's stuck in online worlds and forums, which I don't think are good for his mental health. Any advice would be gratefully received. 

Parents
  • So sorry to hear what you and your son are going through. Being a 19 year old man isn't easy. Autism makes it harder. Certainly, looking back, it was when my own autism was probably having most impact on me, even though I wasn't diagnosed at the time. I'm sure he'll find a way, find his interests, etc. The really good thing is that he is clearly talking to you about this. I felt exactly the same way when I was that age - I just used to go to bed every night wishing I would never wake up - but I would never have spoken to my parents about that. So it's great that you have such a strong relationship. Just keep being there for him and listening to him. I know what you mean about online forums etc, but are there ways in which he could develop his interests online with a view to using that to meet people? So if, say, he was interested in wildlife (that's a totally random example as it's something I'm interested in), could online discussions lead to him joining a local group?

Reply
  • So sorry to hear what you and your son are going through. Being a 19 year old man isn't easy. Autism makes it harder. Certainly, looking back, it was when my own autism was probably having most impact on me, even though I wasn't diagnosed at the time. I'm sure he'll find a way, find his interests, etc. The really good thing is that he is clearly talking to you about this. I felt exactly the same way when I was that age - I just used to go to bed every night wishing I would never wake up - but I would never have spoken to my parents about that. So it's great that you have such a strong relationship. Just keep being there for him and listening to him. I know what you mean about online forums etc, but are there ways in which he could develop his interests online with a view to using that to meet people? So if, say, he was interested in wildlife (that's a totally random example as it's something I'm interested in), could online discussions lead to him joining a local group?

Children
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