Nobody asks me to hang out even after I have invited them out many times

I've been having this problem for the past few years. I had a friend who I asked to hang out with him 8 times and I asked him to return the favour, maybe just a few times but he wouldn't. The relationship I was in, I asked that guy repeatedly out for 8 months every week without fail. Yet, when I asked for the favour to be returned, it never happened. I ended up dumping him. Now, with a friend, I've had for 14 years, I thought if she'd set it in her calendar to ask me to hang out every second month then I'd get invites. But obviously, she didn't even do it. I feel like people are so selfish. I act normal, I don't have one-way conversations and I'm likeable (as told by my friends). But no one wants to put the effort into inviting me out. At this point, I feel like there's no point in going out. I get anxiety after a while if the people who I've asked don't return the favour. I'd rather protect my mental health.

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  • I understand the frustration of everything feeling one sided but I don’t think people usually schedule times to ask each other to meet up. I very rarely see my friends, we don’t live particularly close which doesn’t help but we’re not chatting loads on the phone either but we still know we’re there for each other. Are your friends actually NT? Do they have kids or demanding jobs? Adulthood is really great at sucking the energy out of people, especially with parenthood thrown in. There are also a lot of undiagnosed folk out there who tend to end up finding each other. If your friends happen to have ADHD for example it will be very difficult for them to work to a schedule or even remember people exist at times. Doesn’t mean they don’t care it’s just the way their brains work. Maybe your friends have social anxiety and prefer staying home most of the time? On the other hand if these friends are going out together without you that’s a whole different issue

  • Yeah, they are NT's. No kids and just regular part-time jobs or 9-5 jobs. 

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