Help me, I’m neurotypical!

My son is 11, and I love him endlessly. I’ve thought for a long time that he is likely Autistic, probably PDA, as well as having ADHD and possibly dyslexia. Trying to get him properly assessed is a nightmare, we went through the NHS 3 years ago, but because he was home-educated at the time and we had no back up from a school they decided it wasn’t Autism/ADHD, and advised me to put him into school. He chose to start school in Sept 2020, after all the home-Ed groups stopped, thanks to covid. The first year went soooo well! But this year there have been staff issues, other kid issues, his BFF left and he started refusing to go in…school have been so kind and supportive, and whilst school definitely is not working right now, tbh home-Ed wasn’t either! My son has been violent, depressed and  suicidal this year, and I’m desperate to help support him. I want to ask Autistic adults how important it was to them to get an official diagnosis, because it’s probably going to cost us about £3000 and my husband thinks it’s okay to go without (I don’t) and also, how lenient should I be about the fact that he wants to play Xbox for 10 hours a day?! Thanks in advance :) 

Parents
  • Hiya,

    Sounds like a really stressful situation that you are experiencing.

    Just because he has had an NHS assessment before doesn't mean that he can't do it again so if money is an issue then you could always try it that way. However, if you want to go private and can afford it then it's better to get it done sooner rather than later

    I'm glad the first year of school went well, a shame it didn't go so well after that.

    I'm not officially an adult but i am going to answer anyway. i got my diagnosis last year when i was 16. before my diagnosis i was a frequent self harmer, suicidal, depressed etc. so I can relate to your son. in terms of support, i have received very little. my school have always been amazing so there isn't much change there and i haven't received anything else. however, the diagnosis meant that i understood myself more and I'm not happy with the way i am. my friends are also really supportive as they did their own research and know how to help. Talk to your son about how he feels with getting a diagnosis and if he wants it then do it, it's not your husbands life, it's your sons and if this could help him then give it a try.

    I think the Xbox thing is pretty common among teens, so don't worry about that. set him clear boundaries, 10 hours is not ok

    Alisha xx

  • my friends are also really supportive as they did their own research and know how to help

    Hi Alisha, I'm sorry you've had such a tough time, but I have to say it really warms my heart that your friends did their research to support you.  It shows how special you are to them.  Also, we need as much awareness of our needs out there as possible - understanding makes the world go round for everyone.

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  • my friends are also really supportive as they did their own research and know how to help

    Hi Alisha, I'm sorry you've had such a tough time, but I have to say it really warms my heart that your friends did their research to support you.  It shows how special you are to them.  Also, we need as much awareness of our needs out there as possible - understanding makes the world go round for everyone.

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