Help me, I’m neurotypical!

In answer to your first question about the diagnosis:  Essential!

For those of us diagnosed as adults, it's been a personal choice.  Others who have made it through to adult hood without too many issues choose not to bother.  But for many of those of us who did choose to go down that route, it wasn't because we were merely curious, valid as that may be as a reason for those that were just curious.  Most of us have come to the realisation that we are autistic because we smacked head long into a problem somewhere down the line and were seeking answers.  Without the diagnosis the system and the services would never recognise our need.  Services and support maybe inadequate, but we could not access them otherwise.  Nor could we understand and help ourselves, otherwise.  Many of us wish desperately we had known as children because things could have been so different had we known, had we had the right sort of support...  Most of us are glad we have that belated diagnosis now.

Now, your poor lad is smacking head long into a major problem and he is unlikely to get the right help without a diagnosis.  The good news is, he is still a kid, which means that there are more services for him than us.  His school will have to do an EHCP if he needs one and they must put provisions in place for him.  At the very least it will help his teachers and other educational professionals understand him.  Later, it will help him understand himself.

As for your lad's immediate problems, it's not rocket science to see that he has just been through too much change and too much stress for a lot of kids, let alone one on the Spectrum.  I'm very concerned that one so young should be having suicidal ideation, but we are prone to it and it can be qualitatively very different from that which occurs in neurotypical people.  This needs addressing sooner rather than later by someone who can hold his autism at the core of the problem.  He needs psychological support now and most certainly he needs a thorough assessment.

As to the x-box...  Well, you know we hyper focus on interests and have trouble task switching... that plus the escape from his other traumas will be the source, but no, it's not good for him and I'd be setting parameters.

In answer to your first question about the diagnosis:  Essential!

For those of us diagnosed as adults, it's been a personal choice.  Others who have made it through to adult hood without too many issues choose not to bother.  But for many of those of us who did choose to go down that route, it wasn't because we were merely curious, valid as that may be as a reason for those that were just curious.  Most of us have come to the realisation that we are autistic because we smacked head long into a problem somewhere down the line and were seeking answers.  Without the diagnosis the system and the services would never recognise our need.  Services and support maybe inadequate, but we could not access them otherwise.  Nor could we understand and help ourselves, otherwise.  Many of us wish desperately we had known as children because things could have been so different had we known, had we had the right sort of support...  Most of us are glad we have that belated diagnosis now.

Now, your poor lad is smacking head long into a major problem and he is unlikely to get the right help without a diagnosis.  The good news is, he is still a kid, which means that there are more services for him than us.  His school will have to do an EHCP if he needs one and they must put provisions in place for him.  At the very least it will help his teachers and other educational professionals understand him.  Later, it will help him understand himself.

As for your lad's immediate problems, it's not rocket science to see that he has just been through too much change and too much stress for a lot of kids, let alone one on the Spectrum.  I'm very concerned that one so young should be having suicidal ideation, but we are prone to it and it can be qualitatively very different from that which occurs in neurotypical people.  This needs addressing sooner rather than later by someone who can hold his autism at the core of the problem.  He needs psychological support now and most certainly he needs a thorough assessment.

As to the x-box...  Well, you know we hyper focus on interests and have trouble task switching... that plus the escape from his other traumas will be the source, but no, it's not good for him and I'd be setting parameters.