Help me, I’m neurotypical!

My son is 11, and I love him endlessly. I’ve thought for a long time that he is likely Autistic, probably PDA, as well as having ADHD and possibly dyslexia. Trying to get him properly assessed is a nightmare, we went through the NHS 3 years ago, but because he was home-educated at the time and we had no back up from a school they decided it wasn’t Autism/ADHD, and advised me to put him into school. He chose to start school in Sept 2020, after all the home-Ed groups stopped, thanks to covid. The first year went soooo well! But this year there have been staff issues, other kid issues, his BFF left and he started refusing to go in…school have been so kind and supportive, and whilst school definitely is not working right now, tbh home-Ed wasn’t either! My son has been violent, depressed and  suicidal this year, and I’m desperate to help support him. I want to ask Autistic adults how important it was to them to get an official diagnosis, because it’s probably going to cost us about £3000 and my husband thinks it’s okay to go without (I don’t) and also, how lenient should I be about the fact that he wants to play Xbox for 10 hours a day?! Thanks in advance :) 

Parents
  • It’s not easy to get a diagnosis in the NHS, and to be honest, even input from the school doesn’t help. Been there myself. You can get a second opinion, just because they said he was fine, doesn’t mean he is. You as mother know him best of all. I would go back to the GP in the first instance, and bring some info with you to strengthen his case. Make a point of highlighting the autistic traits he has.

    As for him, he’s at the age when things get worse. High school is a big problem, and he will be struggling with all aspects, as you already know.

    A private diagnosis is in the region of £1800 for an ASD and ADHD assessment. It certainly depends who you go to, so shop around, and look for the clinicians that have experience of Autism, or who specialise in it. 

    Regarding the gaming, if it helps him unwind, then let him do it. As long as he’s getting homework done, and eating and caring for himself, I see no issue. You can always try and introduce new hobbies, or suggest that he might like to find a new interest.

Reply
  • It’s not easy to get a diagnosis in the NHS, and to be honest, even input from the school doesn’t help. Been there myself. You can get a second opinion, just because they said he was fine, doesn’t mean he is. You as mother know him best of all. I would go back to the GP in the first instance, and bring some info with you to strengthen his case. Make a point of highlighting the autistic traits he has.

    As for him, he’s at the age when things get worse. High school is a big problem, and he will be struggling with all aspects, as you already know.

    A private diagnosis is in the region of £1800 for an ASD and ADHD assessment. It certainly depends who you go to, so shop around, and look for the clinicians that have experience of Autism, or who specialise in it. 

    Regarding the gaming, if it helps him unwind, then let him do it. As long as he’s getting homework done, and eating and caring for himself, I see no issue. You can always try and introduce new hobbies, or suggest that he might like to find a new interest.

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