Romantic and sexual relationships

I think it's all about belief, and I'm not talking about religious belief here. You say you feel ugly and unlovable, those are beliefs about yourself that will hold you back and may prevent you from even starting a conversation with someone you're interested in. Because you hold these negative beliefs about yourself your mind will tell you things like 'no point talking to him, he wouldn't be interested in a ugly woman like me' or 'I don't deserve to be loved' and these thoughts will prevent you from starting a conversation.

Even if you're able to start a conversation with someone who interests you, those beliefs will control how you act during that conversation, if you feel ugly then you're going to be preoccupied with trying to hide parts of your body that make you feel that way, which may come across to the other person as disinterest or shyness. If you feel unlovable you'll have negative thoughts about yourself whenever the other person compliments you in some way, and your responses to compliments will be questions that betray your lack of self-esteem/confidence to the other person (What could you possibly like about a broken person like me? You can do better than me. etc...), and a lack of either of those things is apparently unattractive to most people.

Hopefully from this you can see how your beliefs about yourself may cause other people to see you that way too.

So how do you change what you believe/feel about yourself? Fake it till ya make it. That's where most people would leave it. I'm going to go into more detail though. I've been reading about positive affirmation, and it's something I'm going to try once I figure out how to stop procrastinating.

The idea is simple, you change how you feel about yourself by lying to yourself consistently until your sub conscious mind starts to believe the lie. In your case you might tell yourself that you are loveable, and that you are beautiful, once or twice a day, every day, from now on, until your feelings about yourself change. Once your feelings about yourself change other people will start to see you in a different light and your chances of ending up in a romantic relationship will have increased.

Oh don't just think "I'm beautiful" and "I'm a lovable person". You actually have to get them out, say them, write them to yourself, if you live alone you could put them on sticky notes on the wall so you see them as you move about your home.

And finally, be careful with what lies you convince yourself to believe or you could cause yourself or someone else serious harm. For example if you convince yourself you can lift 300lbs at the gym when the most you've ever lifted is 75lbs, that belief will enable you to try and will break your body in the process.

It also won't work if your belief involves other people, you can tell yourself that the bank is going to give you a million quid all you want. They won't, and once people realise that you're not joking, you'll end up being seen as the local nutter who thinks the bank is going to give them a million quid any day now.

So be careful and think through whatever lies you decide to convince yourself of before you do it.

Hope I've said something useful/helpful here.

I think it's all about belief, and I'm not talking about religious belief here. You say you feel ugly and unlovable, those are beliefs about yourself that will hold you back and may prevent you from even starting a conversation with someone you're interested in. Because you hold these negative beliefs about yourself your mind will tell you things like 'no point talking to him, he wouldn't be interested in a ugly woman like me' or 'I don't deserve to be loved' and these thoughts will prevent you from starting a conversation.

Even if you're able to start a conversation with someone who interests you, those beliefs will control how you act during that conversation, if you feel ugly then you're going to be preoccupied with trying to hide parts of your body that make you feel that way, which may come across to the other person as disinterest or shyness. If you feel unlovable you'll have negative thoughts about yourself whenever the other person compliments you in some way, and your responses to compliments will be questions that betray your lack of self-esteem/confidence to the other person (What could you possibly like about a broken person like me? You can do better than me. etc...), and a lack of either of those things is apparently unattractive to most people.

Hopefully from this you can see how your beliefs about yourself may cause other people to see you that way too.

So how do you change what you believe/feel about yourself? Fake it till ya make it. That's where most people would leave it. I'm going to go into more detail though. I've been reading about positive affirmation, and it's something I'm going to try once I figure out how to stop procrastinating.

The idea is simple, you change how you feel about yourself by lying to yourself consistently until your sub conscious mind starts to believe the lie. In your case you might tell yourself that you are loveable, and that you are beautiful, once or twice a day, every day, from now on, until your feelings about yourself change. Once your feelings about yourself change other people will start to see you in a different light and your chances of ending up in a romantic relationship will have increased.

Oh don't just think "I'm beautiful" and "I'm a lovable person". You actually have to get them out, say them, write them to yourself, if you live alone you could put them on sticky notes on the wall so you see them as you move about your home.

And finally, be careful with what lies you convince yourself to believe or you could cause yourself or someone else serious harm. For example if you convince yourself you can lift 300lbs at the gym when the most you've ever lifted is 75lbs, that belief will enable you to try and will break your body in the process.

It also won't work if your belief involves other people, you can tell yourself that the bank is going to give you a million quid all you want. They won't, and once people realise that you're not joking, you'll end up being seen as the local nutter who thinks the bank is going to give them a million quid any day now.

So be careful and think through whatever lies you decide to convince yourself of before you do it.

Hope I've said something useful/helpful here.