Struggling with waiting for an answer

Thank you for the video! I'll give it a watch. You're all really helping my mental wellbeing with your lovely comments <3 It helps to know that a lot of autistic people have thought the same (doubted themselves). I definitely need to remember to be kinder and more patient with myself, it's something I need to work on.

Thank you so so much for your comment! It really means a lot and you're absolutely right, I'm the only person who knows my brain, how I feel, what I think. I'm having the exact same feelings, what if they say I'm not autistic, then what's going on? I definitely want a diagnosis, I have OCD, tourettes, anxiety, dyslexia, potentially ADHD too, it's a lot for one brain, so for me every label/diagnosis really helps me understand what I need. My work place is actually the most respectful of my self diagnosis, I don't mask at all there. Congratulations on your diagnosis! That must feel so relieving? 

Hi there. Thank you so much for your comment, I really appreciate it, I especially like the part about the fish! Good point. You're absolutely right, only I know myself and how my brain works and how I feel, no one else does. My place of work is actually the most accessible and accepting and respectful of my self diagnosis. I told my boss and my colleagues/friends and they all look after me and respect my needs which really really helps. It's actually the only place I can totally unmask and talk about my probable autism and they absolutely 1000% respect it. I think what I'm most scared about is if I have my assessment and they say I'm not autistic, then what is it? But anyway, yes, thank you!! <3

Hey, you're absolutely right. I need to stop asking people if they think I'm autistic because they don't know my brain, I know my brain the best. Every time I ask, I get a different answer and it isn't worth it. My work boss and colleagues respect my self diagnosis and they help me a lot with it on a daily basis. Truly, your comments have really helped :) 

I've found this at my work place. I'm not diagnosed but I told my boss and collegues and they all respect that I've self diagnosed and I have lots of adjustments in place to help me perform my job :) Thank you for your comment <3

Hi Cameron, I can identify with a lot of what you have said. I was diagnosed a week ago today after a four year wait. I felt exactly the same as you, with a lot of the same symptoms. When I was about to get the results, I remember thinking what if they say I am not autistic? What does that mean and why am I like what am I like if I am not autistic? 

To be honest, if you feel you are autistic, I would be really surprised if you don't get a diagnosis (assuming you want one). After all, you are the world's leading expert on yourself. 

Don't be put off by people around you who don't think you are, whatever their expertise: my wife has worked with autistic children for 30 years, she was my informant in the diagnostic process, and never thought I was autistic until I was diagnosed. That's down to masking.

So my advice would just to be that you know yourself best, you think you are autistic, you almost certainly are, the diagnosis will take care of itself (though it will take time), and in the meantime, trying to get your employer to make reasonable adjustments on the basis you are going through a lengthy process to confirm things should, if they are a good employer, be fine.

Yes, it is really important to have confidence in own autistic identities in order to be happy and self advocate when necessary.

Hi, I’m on the waiting list at the moment, I am only six months in. I can very much relate with how you feel. My sister looks after autistic children after school so you can guess the answer I got. I don’t act like an autistic child because I am not one and have had 50+ years to perfect my set act and keep under the radar. The funniest reply I’ve had so far was, “ I’m sorry, I’m going to pray for you”. When I become non verbal, my wife calls it “radio silence “ we try to make small adjustments, social occasions are very hard for me so I do now get excused from most of them.

Don’t worry what others may say, they are not you, only you know how you feel. If you strongly believe you are autistic then the chances are that you are. The old saying is “if something looks like a fish and smells like a fish, it most probably is a fish”

I would just speak to your boss about your concerns, the whole company doesn’t need to know. Tell him you strongly believe you are autistic and can some small adjustments be made. When you get to lunchtimes, find a nearby park and disappear. You are quite entitled to self diagnose as you are the best judge of you. You identify as being autistic, most workplaces are quite accommodating now. The law states that they have to be.

Totally agree with this, self diagnosis is valid and if you ask 10 people their opinion you will get 11 answers so just trust yourself.

You are very welcome. I am glad I can help you so much. This is what is so great about our autistic community.

Good luck on your autistic discovery journey and throughout this process there will probably be many more times when you question whether you are autistic. This is natural for many of us late discovered autistic people as we understand and apply this new knowledge and identity to different aspects of our life. We begin to reflect on life through a new autistic lens. Be kind and patient with yourself it takes time to adjust and accept an autistic identity.

However you  know yourself better than anyone else, I hope this makes you feel more confident to trust your own autistic instincts.

Hopefully you relate to this video about different stages of autistic discovery:

https://youtu.be/oo34mppLMqE

by law, you can identify yourself as autistic, and it's as valid as diagnosis, you can't reverse it, so if you you tell your manager you're autistic, and ask for reasonable adjustments they will have to consider them

I’m glad my reply was even slightly helpful. We don’t always feel like it, but remember that the real expert in you is yourself. I’m trying to remember that’s everyday too. People can make a habit of telling others how things should be or what they think about things. Unless asked for by yourself, it might be worth considering how useful those insights are and even who they are for. Perhaps there is some sense I that, but equally, perhaps I’m just rambling on again! 

Thank you for your message, you've definitely made me feel better.  You're absolutely right. People don't know me as well as I know myself, so I definitely should take other people's opinions with a pinch of salt, I need to remember that

I can relate to the difficulties you describe here and can see how the conflicting messages you received are confusing. The diagnostic process is a thorough one, more so than conversations with others in my opinion, so try to take things that other people say (like doubting autism) with a pinch of salt so to speak.

I will use the word ‘you’ in the rest of this comment, I’m not intending it to mean you personally, but rather as a way to refer to people in the situations I’m describing. I try and avoid the word ‘you’ where possible, but I’m finding it difficult to replace today. Apologies.

Autism is such a personal thing. A phrase that sticks with me is ‘when you’ve met an autistic person, you’ve met ONE autistic person’. That’s because we are all so different. The spectrum is so broad. People can’t in passing tell you that they don’t think you’re autistic, because they don’t know all of the aspects to you and the difficulties you encounter/navigate each day. Professionals who diagnose autism form multi disciplinary teams to discuss each person for this exact reason. To challenge one another’s judgements, moderate decisions and to consider the presentations from multiple angles. One person, in my opinion, can’t manage this task in a matter of moments, particularly when it takes a whole team a significantly longer time to do this.

I do hope this reassures you, that was certainly the intent behind this reply so I hope it lands that way.

You are welcome!

I am happy to hear that your work colleagues and boss are supportive.

All you need is the right support from supportive people.

Also I am happy to hear that you feel better. 

Thank you so so much for your comment. You've definitely made me feel better

Thank you so much for your reply, I really appreciate it :) I definitely need to stop asking what others think because it makes me spiral into an upset state. I have actually already told my boss and other staff and they're all super understanding and helping me as best they can, which is great. Your message has made me feel better, thank you

Hello, if you think you are autistic, then you are. You are the expert on yourself, many autistic people are self identified.

We as the autistic community included many self discovered autistic people who don’t have a diagnosis but don’t want one either because the waiting list is too long and sometimes because self identification is sufficient and validating enough.

You are expert on your autistic experience, so regardless of formal diagnosis you can still be autistic and identify as such.

You say that other people around you don’t think you are autistic, but this community is so diverse. There is not one way to be autistic, this is what makes our community so beautiful.

Being autistic is a different way of being human which includes our own distinct communication styles, sensory and emotional experiences, monotropic attention tunnels (which are at the core of your dedicated interests) and a need for predictability (amongst other aspects of autistic experience).

So the things you mention in your post (such as stimming, needing to know every detail before the training in Leeds, your special interests, your sensory needs and more) are very much because you are autistic.

Welcome to your autistic community.

 I hope this reply helps to validate your autistic experience.

Hello Cameron,

It can be so frustrating on not knowing what's going with yourself. I'm also sorry to hear others given you mixed feedback. First of all stop asking opinions from others, especially those who are not trained to assess you.

To be honest even when you do get diagnosed, don't be shock to find out a couple of people might still not believe your autistic.

Please don't worry about what may or may not happen with your diagnosis as it's not going to help you with your waiting process. It's best to start looking at things that can help you cope with your sensory overloads etc, even if your just self diagnosed, This forum is a great place to start and other sites with tips in how to cope.

Concerning your work, if it's really affecting you and its noticeable to others, you could tell your manage privately that you could possibly be on the spectrum and your on the waiting list to be assessed. Or you can do what I did and I went to my Gp as I was going crazy and couldn't wait, so they also referred me to a therapist and I got diagnosed first with anxiety, which help my case a bit when I was at work, but also through my therapy, my therapist pushed to get my assessment assessed much quicker than I expected. Also she was a specialist is autsim and also referred me to a psychologist with my GP which was a bit hard at first, but everything got pushed because of her.

So please don't overload yourself, you know you are struggling and the professionals will probably see it and you will get your diagnosis soon.