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Disposable people...

I Sperg

Autism brings with it a certain amount of friction between us and the normies, O.K.

BUT I've been discarded by SO very many people as if I were a used tissue.

I've had a little cluster of it this month, so it's of particular interest to me this week.

I've been working the problem for a full half century now, and I still can't quite decide why I seem to be so "discardable".

I've tried being nice, useful, controlling, submissive, and simply being myself, during various decades, but every time just when I think I've managed to get a few people around me who I can trust, it seems I discover I was either being "used", or "tolerated" by someone and my time is up....

I've learned to live with it, and just treasure the people around me who are not currently rejecting me.

Parents

  • i dunno, im just tolerated, and just "there" to them i guess, but i realise thats part my problem.
    i dont speak much so i may seem unfriendly to them and they may think i dont like them. also not speaking much means they wont interact or talk to me as they know i wont really have much of a conversation and only be small simple responses, so already its my own problem which cuts out the ability for them to get along and accept and make me part of the group easily like they can with others.

    i guess my face always looks bored or disinterested too and i always probably seem vacant and uninterested.
    all of this contributes to me never being able to really be a person in their eyes but just a robot drone that is there, a tool, a item, and probably one that they are ok with replacing with a actual person that can do the same thing but interact with them better. although i have been told i work better alone and can do better alone than what a group of them can do so i have my uses. although if they send me in to work with a group then my use scales down to the groups level like a cramping my style kinda thing.

    anyways rambling here, its totally my fault i dont fit in, they are a round hole and i am the square peg.

Reply

  • i dunno, im just tolerated, and just "there" to them i guess, but i realise thats part my problem.
    i dont speak much so i may seem unfriendly to them and they may think i dont like them. also not speaking much means they wont interact or talk to me as they know i wont really have much of a conversation and only be small simple responses, so already its my own problem which cuts out the ability for them to get along and accept and make me part of the group easily like they can with others.

    i guess my face always looks bored or disinterested too and i always probably seem vacant and uninterested.
    all of this contributes to me never being able to really be a person in their eyes but just a robot drone that is there, a tool, a item, and probably one that they are ok with replacing with a actual person that can do the same thing but interact with them better. although i have been told i work better alone and can do better alone than what a group of them can do so i have my uses. although if they send me in to work with a group then my use scales down to the groups level like a cramping my style kinda thing.

    anyways rambling here, its totally my fault i dont fit in, they are a round hole and i am the square peg.

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