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Disposable people...

I Sperg

Autism brings with it a certain amount of friction between us and the normies, O.K.

BUT I've been discarded by SO very many people as if I were a used tissue.

I've had a little cluster of it this month, so it's of particular interest to me this week.

I've been working the problem for a full half century now, and I still can't quite decide why I seem to be so "discardable".

I've tried being nice, useful, controlling, submissive, and simply being myself, during various decades, but every time just when I think I've managed to get a few people around me who I can trust, it seems I discover I was either being "used", or "tolerated" by someone and my time is up....

I've learned to live with it, and just treasure the people around me who are not currently rejecting me.

Parents

  • That’s striking a chord - could have written it myself, even the ‘little cluster’ - definitely been through a run of days like that of late. And still processing one devastating discard from two years ago that I’ll never truly get over. I think the universe is reminding me that isolation is my natural state. The partial peace of a hermit’s existence - whether I want it or not (some days Im not sure). Im not sure Ive ever sought to be controlling though, but definitely some of those other things you mentioned which come more naturally to me. 

  • in reply to Shardovan

    I could become hermit if they left me alone, but that's not possible

    so I choose to be a fishbone in their throats, just a little, so I can do it without making to much noise, otherwise they would join ranks and villainised me

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