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Set feelings

autismtwo

I seem not to have flexibility in feelings, if I am uncomfortable with some one,, the feeling which I have given too myself by there behaviour is stuck. So that means when I am around this person, this set emotion is switched on regardless, I have no flexibility to wait and see and react accordingly.... I try not to hate them or be afraid off them, but my autism psyche is pre-set...to reactive fear, distaste and hate

How can make my feelings more flexible towards a person I am reacting too with distaste, even though I do not wish too, it just happens.. it means they have control of my feelings .. D'oh ! I am trying to just relax about them, but it is hard, due to the tension within and the atmosphere of negative externally.

Any thoughts

Parents

  • autismtwo -I know what you mean about avoidance - or self-preservation if you look at it from a different angle. I'm pretty good at avoidance myself.

    In the beginning we think we are interacting with people (NT's) in the same way as other people, and we puzzle over why we get different reactions to others. Once we are diagnosed we understand.

    In the old days before AS was recognised, our behaviour was thought odd, and to avoid getting negative reactions from others we often learnt to avoid certain people and certain situations - the ones that produced those unpleasant reactions. Instinct, I suppose, taught us to read potentially bad situations. So your set feelings with certain people could be self-preservation.

    The thing is - now we are 'recognised' should we expect people to behave differently towards us in interaction - after all you describe trying to alter your behaviour.
    I read somewhere once that if you practice a new behaviour for long enough, your feelings about what you are trying to conquer will alter as a consequence. The set feelings become 'unset'. I'm not sure that can be true for AS though.

    I like the idea that fear is just a lack of joy. I'll try to remember that next time I am scared, though fear may chase the words out of my head. Smile

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  • autismtwo -I know what you mean about avoidance - or self-preservation if you look at it from a different angle. I'm pretty good at avoidance myself.

    In the beginning we think we are interacting with people (NT's) in the same way as other people, and we puzzle over why we get different reactions to others. Once we are diagnosed we understand.

    In the old days before AS was recognised, our behaviour was thought odd, and to avoid getting negative reactions from others we often learnt to avoid certain people and certain situations - the ones that produced those unpleasant reactions. Instinct, I suppose, taught us to read potentially bad situations. So your set feelings with certain people could be self-preservation.

    The thing is - now we are 'recognised' should we expect people to behave differently towards us in interaction - after all you describe trying to alter your behaviour.
    I read somewhere once that if you practice a new behaviour for long enough, your feelings about what you are trying to conquer will alter as a consequence. The set feelings become 'unset'. I'm not sure that can be true for AS though.

    I like the idea that fear is just a lack of joy. I'll try to remember that next time I am scared, though fear may chase the words out of my head. Smile

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