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Introducing myself

Elfin

I've just joined and am feeling really lonely and isolated with my undiagnosed autism. I'm a 51 year old woman and, despite both my brothers having autism, have never had anyone notice or realise that I have it too. Now I know (scored 36 on the AQ50) everything makes sense!

The doctor has told me that I most likely have autism after a brief chat but I can't access services to get an official diagnosis as, with a 'good job etc', I was told that I don't qualify as being needy enough. I get that, but it leaves me feeling like an outsider as usual. Not normal enough to be normal but not autistic enough to be autistic. 

I guess I'm just looking for some validation after all these years.

  • Your score was 26 out of a possible 50.

    Scores in the 26-32 range indicate some Autistic traits (Asperger's Syndrome).

    I'm always on the edge of these tests.

  • Hi Elfin, don’t let one GP stop you from getting an assessment. I went to my GP last December and explained how I felt, and yes I’m 54, have a house, children, wife and my own business. My GP didn’t hesitate in referring me. Your not needy enough is not an answer. Change your GP and make a list of things that affect you. Some things are most probably buried quite deeply from school and teen years. You have two brothers who are autistic, autism is hereditary. I’ve heard the excuse of “ you won’t achieve much from an assessment “ it belongs in the dark ages. People of our age have had to muddle through life because there was no support or understanding. I often feel I have imposter syndrome, then I remind myself of what a struggle it is every day. Only my opinion but please don’t give up on your journey.

  • Hi Elfin,

    Welcome. Validation, we can certainly give you, but I'm appalled at your GP's attitude though. You wouldn't be asking for an assessment, if you didn't think you needed one. And just because you've got a job doesn't mean you might not need help, if not now at some point in the future, in some other area. I work and am self sufficient in lots of ways, but there are things I need help with sometimes. And it can have impact for physical and mental health, for which reason identifying your autism could be important one day.

    I know GPs have an eye on resources. There is a diagnostic crisis in the UK. But you have as much right as the next person to be assessed. I'd make a list of all the areas where you feel your autism does or could be an issue and go see another GP. Tell them you understand you might have to wait a good while, but insist you need an assessment.

    Bless you, it's tough, huh?

    I was 56 when I got my diagnosis. I wish to God, I'd known sooner.

  • Hi Elfin and welcome!

    I am in a similar limbo, although in my case haven't braved the GP yet. 52, female, score 35 on AQ and 129 on Raads-r so looking likely however I honestly suspect I would get the same response as I've 'managed' all these years, albeit barely at times!

    I think deep down I would like to know for definite, but I'm not sure I have the mental strength to go through the process at this point, especially if that involves trying to convince someone to even consider referral!

    As Dogtooth says, private assessment might be something to consider if finances allow. Just make sure they are well experienced with diagnosing female presentation of autism - I'm sure others on here would know more about that than myself.

    Whatever you decide you are definitely not alone, and have come to the right place here, it's certainly helped me over the past few months.