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Having Children

Catlover

This is specifically for females, but males can answer too if they wish….

If you were diagnosed as a child, did you still want and have children when you grew up? Or did you choose not to have any?

And for those with children, who were diagnosed in middle age, do you think you would have still wanted children if you were diagnosed earlier?

Parents

  • Discovered Autism was a part of who I am recently and still going through diagnosis but its clear I am autistic. Anyway, this all happened after our second child was born. I take value in the fact that being unaware of being autistic whilst parenting really allows me to put this condition into perspective and I went through all the positives and negatives as a neurotypical person. Now coming to terms with autism I can see how it affects my parenting, which mainly revolves around going places, the school run, anything that requires a huge checklist and process which ensures things go smoothly. I can get overworked but often find being overprepared has come in handy. On the flip side, I can see autistic traits in my kids that I totally understand and can guide them through. I also feel If I wasn't autistic I would be not as good as I am.

    I definitely overthink risks - ( I totally understand Nemo's dad from Finding Nemo). I ideate the worst-case scenario in most situations and then try to think how I can prevent that. I liken it to ideating about things like death for myself and understood I wasn't thinking about taking my life( Which I know some go through on the spectrum) but just worst-case scenario and my mind seeing how I could cope (I think its a subconscious masking technique at work but don't hold me to that, I know nothing haha) 

    But overall, If I knew I was autistic I would worry way more or be more aware of the worries I had. My parents had no clue about my autism I'm 36 now and they found out a few weeks ago. If I did have support or understanding from my environment around me I know some lows in my life didn't need to be as rough as they were. And I think career wise being able to tell clients/employers would've helped too. So I can offer that to my kids and I'm excited to see them grow.

    I also think as the awareness of autism increases support should & understanding will naturally increase. Systems and institutions are way behind but there a ton of great humans out there who just need an understanding and they step up. 

    I 'm vegetarian and I remember just seeing one option on any menu in most restaurants. Now there are many thanks to emergence of plant based eating. I think Autism understanding will go the same way. 


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  • Discovered Autism was a part of who I am recently and still going through diagnosis but its clear I am autistic. Anyway, this all happened after our second child was born. I take value in the fact that being unaware of being autistic whilst parenting really allows me to put this condition into perspective and I went through all the positives and negatives as a neurotypical person. Now coming to terms with autism I can see how it affects my parenting, which mainly revolves around going places, the school run, anything that requires a huge checklist and process which ensures things go smoothly. I can get overworked but often find being overprepared has come in handy. On the flip side, I can see autistic traits in my kids that I totally understand and can guide them through. I also feel If I wasn't autistic I would be not as good as I am.

    I definitely overthink risks - ( I totally understand Nemo's dad from Finding Nemo). I ideate the worst-case scenario in most situations and then try to think how I can prevent that. I liken it to ideating about things like death for myself and understood I wasn't thinking about taking my life( Which I know some go through on the spectrum) but just worst-case scenario and my mind seeing how I could cope (I think its a subconscious masking technique at work but don't hold me to that, I know nothing haha) 

    But overall, If I knew I was autistic I would worry way more or be more aware of the worries I had. My parents had no clue about my autism I'm 36 now and they found out a few weeks ago. If I did have support or understanding from my environment around me I know some lows in my life didn't need to be as rough as they were. And I think career wise being able to tell clients/employers would've helped too. So I can offer that to my kids and I'm excited to see them grow.

    I also think as the awareness of autism increases support should & understanding will naturally increase. Systems and institutions are way behind but there a ton of great humans out there who just need an understanding and they step up. 

    I 'm vegetarian and I remember just seeing one option on any menu in most restaurants. Now there are many thanks to emergence of plant based eating. I think Autism understanding will go the same way. 


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