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Help & Ideas MK1

tinydisk

Hi my girlfriend is autistic we discovered approx 9 months ago and by both reading a lot and working on adapting we made life a bit easier.

how ever the below is making life tough - if you have any ideas or strategies you have used to help please let me know .
When you read the below bear in mind we have loads of good times and days too.

cannot choose what to eat for lunch- when this happens it can ruin the whole day 
when it happens she says " I do not know" to all suggestions and it can cause a downward spiral resulting in hiding in the room all day ( sometimes a meltdown)
results - makes her feel "rubbish inside" because all the things she wanted to do can not be done.
today for example no lunch  and is stuck in the bedroom but she wants to go out and go to the martial arts class with me but does not feel peopley 

what I am looking for ideas help with this or at least to reduce how much of the day it ruins for her ?? ( already use - reminding her to think about beforehand/ and cards with words on when she cannot find any words / giving her space and coming back to it)

any thoughts appreciated

cheers 

Parents

  • Hello, it is really nice that you are coming on this forum for advice about how to support to support your autistic girlfriend.

     I don’t like the question ‘what do you want for lunch?’. It is too vague. Does she have any safe foods? (any foods she will always eat) If so, you could always have these available for lunch everyday to avoid the overwhelm associated with decision making.

    Decision making is one of the executive functions, it can require a lot of energy. For your girlfriend, it might be really important to lessen decision making by incorporating them into daily routines. For example, eating the same things or one of two things every day.

    This podcast might give some insight into autistic experience for you:

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p06sdq0x/episodes/downloads.

    The episode called ‘turn the studio lights down’ may be particularly useful for this situation.

     I hope this helps.

Reply

  • Hello, it is really nice that you are coming on this forum for advice about how to support to support your autistic girlfriend.

     I don’t like the question ‘what do you want for lunch?’. It is too vague. Does she have any safe foods? (any foods she will always eat) If so, you could always have these available for lunch everyday to avoid the overwhelm associated with decision making.

    Decision making is one of the executive functions, it can require a lot of energy. For your girlfriend, it might be really important to lessen decision making by incorporating them into daily routines. For example, eating the same things or one of two things every day.

    This podcast might give some insight into autistic experience for you:

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p06sdq0x/episodes/downloads.

    The episode called ‘turn the studio lights down’ may be particularly useful for this situation.

     I hope this helps.

Children