bullying at work / not fitting in / coping.

hi everyone. i was diagnosed around a year ago after years of feeling like a marooned alien, not fitting in etc since i was a kid.  i quit my last job because of bullying by one person (discrete comments about me being lazy etc while he was walking past). now im in a different job where its 10 times worse from multiple people and when i complain i get told im doing it in bad faith because i dont have any social network so no one will defend me or stick up for me, even though everyone sees it, and just seems to accept it and im being conducted / moved to a different office now. ive had several meltdowns, ive been in constant bother with colleagues since day one. 

can anyone relate to this? the rumination, always being on alert, paranoia,  anxiety, lack of sleep and self hate is making me really ill and its hard to leave the house at times because  im scared of the extreme reactions i seem to provoke from people.

ive had a few meldowns in my local supermarket which dosent help and its another thing that haunts me. 

  • thanks for the replies.  it helps a lot. 

  • I went through being beaten when I stood ground and challenged them at school as well, when they didn't pick it up and continued bullying they often had to face my Badger, and I was in trouble for doing it those ways.

    In adulthood when faced with workplace bullying I had to quit few times, if you try to report it they just laugh, or boss is friends with bully, and they join ranks.

    if you alexithymic you could learn how to go passive mode all day, it annoys them, the lack of reaction, it's my way now. But you pay the price when you get home, and have to process your feelings. I don't think they could make me go meltdown now