Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all,
Not got a diagnosis for my husband but after 30 plus years together and experience working in education, what was a quirky and reliable if not very reserved guy is a real struggle to live with. We met at 21 marrying at 23 as my parents insisted if we wanted to live together. That’s another issue not for now. Husband was really attentive pre wedding. Switch literally flipped at the wedding and the day was awful as he got so drunk he had to be put to bed. Years have passed, good times, ok times, bad times. All as expected…..but I am absolutely exhausted. I’m not going to drip feed but it’s clear he and as he admits his sister and mother are definitely on the spectrum. He is proud of it. He thinks I’m unreasonable asking him to perhaps come to my end of life occasionally. As long as I am quiet and non judgemental he is ok. The moment I voice an opinion he has verbal diarrhoea telling me how awful I am and being defensive. He then goes silent for days and sulks, really sulks. I generally fix this by apologies, taking the blame for being an idiot, etc etc. Truth be told I am exhausted. Any advice welcome. For information - an incident occurred this week that has really just made me feel so tired. Hopefully some one can identify and point me in the right direction for support. Thanks
I agree with other comments that counselling should help but he also has to realise that he is being abusive to you and can't just hide behind the Autism card that is a cop out I believe because he recognises he is different so he should be able to understand not to behave the way he does.
Yes that is why I asked her to go to counselling, as we only know a little of what is happening, there is obviously much more to this. So she needs to talk it over with someone in order to understand what abuse it. It is abuse, but there could be more abuse that she is not telling us, and abuse that she might not understand is actual abuse. So she needs a counsellor to talk it through with urgently.