is this masking behaviour?

i know i do the eye contact form of it, because i have to force myself to do it, and my eyes always feel strained.

but i find, when im walking about, that i kind of force an upright posture on myself, and occasionally slip out of it which i notice, then force an upright posture on myself again.

i know that psychologically, its to remove any impression of vulnerability, i have hypervigilance going on in my head i think.

but i do tend to kind of look at the ground if i dont do that, just, instinctively.

ive  noticed for years too, that i kind of have a "blank" expression, no Matter how ive felt, from down to angry, although its me thats noticed it not others.

if this sounds a confused ramble, its cos it is lol

Parents
  • Yeah, all that stuff is masking.

    It's exhausting, anxiety inducing and not good for us, but then in some context appearing vulnerable or different also brings dangers. 

    Tough call; to mask or not to mask. But what is really positive here is that you are identifying the things which you do to mask. This gives you some choices over when and how you want to do that.

    I would build in plenty of time for yourself though to be where you want to be, doing what you want to do and with the mask in the bin for a little while.

    Eye contact btw can be simulated without actually doing it. I do look at people when I talk to them, but mostly I am looking at the mouth. Some people deliberate pick the ear, forehead or nose.

Reply
  • Yeah, all that stuff is masking.

    It's exhausting, anxiety inducing and not good for us, but then in some context appearing vulnerable or different also brings dangers. 

    Tough call; to mask or not to mask. But what is really positive here is that you are identifying the things which you do to mask. This gives you some choices over when and how you want to do that.

    I would build in plenty of time for yourself though to be where you want to be, doing what you want to do and with the mask in the bin for a little while.

    Eye contact btw can be simulated without actually doing it. I do look at people when I talk to them, but mostly I am looking at the mouth. Some people deliberate pick the ear, forehead or nose.

Children