Feel lost in how to communicate with husband who has Autism

First I want to start off by saying I absolutely love my husband. He got a late diagnosis of Autism several years ago he was 40 at the time. Together we have four fantastic children. Having his diagnosis I thought would help him overcome many of the obstacles he struggled with. I really do try to help him but as times I get really frustrated as he is so set in his ways. This past year I have been waiting for him to apply for financial support that would help our family. I have suggested I can help fill in the forms, I have told him that there are charities that can help him if filling in the forms. But everything I suggest he just gets angry and tells me he never gets time to do this. Which isn't true as there is plenty of times he could have filled the form. When he gets like this I get anxiety as there is no way of talking to him. He gets really angry and shouts at me to stop putting pressure on him. I feel really alone in all this he spends most of his evenings playing on his phone or watching Netflix s. The other morning he disappeared for two hours so he could collect Pokémon on his phone and didn't even tell me where he was going. I woke up at 7am and he came through the door at 9am and couldn't understand why I was angry. No one would believe me if I told them this. Do you think our relationship is ending? 

Parents
  • I had a total mental breakdown when I was 41, 6 weeks off I couldn't even leave bed, than barely existed unable to cope with most of things I had to do, finally I was diagnosed at 42, and begun understanding myself and rebuilding myself from scratch, once broken you can't just get over it, when you realise why you don't fit, it takes time, I'm 43 now, at last feeling confident enough and making things work again, building new routines, and to communicate my needs, but still any outside pressure is a big no, I just can't take even a bit of it anymore, I continue getting better for a month now I did not have a day when I couldn't leave bed

    I had lots of meaningless activities that were like a routine, that started as a means to relax, similar to collect in Pokemon. that continued on even after breakdown, I was holding onto last bits of old life. It took me a while to stop them, they were eating to much of my time. now I avoid playing games that can turn into routine because the game is designed that way, it's a trap for autistic man

    My friends kept watching over me so I don't do anything stupid, and so I had someone to talk and spill out what ailed me, but I leave alone, they were just coming over.

Reply
  • I had a total mental breakdown when I was 41, 6 weeks off I couldn't even leave bed, than barely existed unable to cope with most of things I had to do, finally I was diagnosed at 42, and begun understanding myself and rebuilding myself from scratch, once broken you can't just get over it, when you realise why you don't fit, it takes time, I'm 43 now, at last feeling confident enough and making things work again, building new routines, and to communicate my needs, but still any outside pressure is a big no, I just can't take even a bit of it anymore, I continue getting better for a month now I did not have a day when I couldn't leave bed

    I had lots of meaningless activities that were like a routine, that started as a means to relax, similar to collect in Pokemon. that continued on even after breakdown, I was holding onto last bits of old life. It took me a while to stop them, they were eating to much of my time. now I avoid playing games that can turn into routine because the game is designed that way, it's a trap for autistic man

    My friends kept watching over me so I don't do anything stupid, and so I had someone to talk and spill out what ailed me, but I leave alone, they were just coming over.

Children