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Another friendship post!

Catlover

I stated in a post that I don’t require friends, don’t feel like I am missing out, and I don’t ever feel lonely. However, I don’t always know what my feelings are, so maybe I am lonely but don’t know it lol.
Either way, I’m not sad, nor am I desperate for friendships, and I really do love my solitude.

All my friendships ended, and I never knew why. My last ended 24yrs ago. 

Since my diagnosis in March, I’ve come to realise that friendships cause me immense stress and confusion. With that in mind, I still recently went onto Bumble BFF to find friends lol. I think it would be beneficial if I had a friend that I could chat to online, or perhaps someone closer who I could (rarely) go for a walk with, or visit the cinema or something else quiet and basic. 
I have had several people like my profile, who identity with my bio, so I know they are ND. However, I’m terrified to swipe on them. I just can’t bring myself to do it. It’s like one swipe will lead to texts, and I struggle with replying to texts…and then the possibility of meeting eventually etc. I almost feel like they won’t like me, and I have too many issues to warrant being friends with (not just ASD). 
Also, will I get on with them? I can’t assume they will become a friend or acquaintance and we will get along just becuase we’re both ND. Personality also plays a part in friend funding, doesn’t it. Persevere 

Parents

  • "If I hadn't seen such riches I could live with being poor" It's hard to see the benefits that friendship brings if you've never had a good friend or friendship it's even harder when it's naturally difficult to engage and understand , you could have spoke with the best person in the world for you but in the moment didn't see how to progress , it's like walking around in the dark and it's guess work , maybe you've had a group of friends but never found true friendship,  it's like lots of other things it could all be their but it's difficult to access and engage, sometimes the planets just don't align I , I consider myself people blind but only in the moment.  It's all their but their it's stays for now , the quest continues an ongoing saga.

  • in reply to St

    Hello.

    I have had friendships. I had a best friend age 7-16, and another good friend for just as long, and then also up into my mid 20’s, and 30’s. 
    The friendship that ended mysteriously wasn’t great. It should have just stayed at acquaintances really.  No great loss there.

    I talk to a few people at work, and did have a colleague I became close with, but she took early retirement last year. We do still keep in touch, which is nice.

    So yeah, I don’t need a regular chat or meet. Just something low key with a person on my wavelength and a little understanding of Autism. Maybe I’ll find it one day if I put myself out there once in a while….

Reply
  • in reply to St

    Hello.

    I have had friendships. I had a best friend age 7-16, and another good friend for just as long, and then also up into my mid 20’s, and 30’s. 
    The friendship that ended mysteriously wasn’t great. It should have just stayed at acquaintances really.  No great loss there.

    I talk to a few people at work, and did have a colleague I became close with, but she took early retirement last year. We do still keep in touch, which is nice.

    So yeah, I don’t need a regular chat or meet. Just something low key with a person on my wavelength and a little understanding of Autism. Maybe I’ll find it one day if I put myself out there once in a while….

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