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The school PTA / building relationships

NAS80284

Hi everyone,

First time posting. I have recently begun to self identify as Autistic as I am still awaiting diagnosis but as I learn more about Autism I've become fairly certain. Please excuse anything I say that is wrong - I'm early in my journey of learning about myself and about ASD. 

I was convinced to run my kids school PTA last year which I took on without really thinking through the people side too much. On a regular basis I seem to manage to upset people and just can't understand why. For example yesterday the school asked the PTA to help put a large donation away, I went to help and as a result, one of the key team members is so angry with me that she has quit! 

When I ask my neuro-typical wife / anyone else, they can quickly and easily identify what I've done wrong. I find the idea that I have upset someone when just trying to help raise money for a charity very hard and it knocks me for a few days each time.

The advice that everyone gives me is that I need to "build relationships". I agree 100% that this would help alot but... Well what does that look like?! I'm told to take them to the pub and get to know them... not sure me sat in a corner feeling awkward is going to build many relationships, particularly as most of the rest of the team are a friendship group!! 

Any advice / thoughts would be welcome. Clearly quitting is currently in mind but it's unlikely someone else would take the role which means we have to close. 

Parents

  • Have you told any of them you are waiting for assessment? I understand that may feel like a private thing but a lot of neurotypical people don’t understand what autism is, they won’t think “oh this person is doing x,y,z maybe they’re autistic so I’ll cut them some slack” “ they’ll go “omg this person is doing x,y,z what a tw&t” If you do set up a social event would you be able to do it in a way that it won’t look strange for your wife to come with you if she’s very quickly realising what annoys them? At the end of the day though if they want to still have a PTA then someone will have to step up if you do quit. Is there anyone on the school side of the PTA you can talk to?

  • in reply to GuybrushThreepwood

    Thanks so much for your reply and raising a smile! 

    It's a fair point about telling them. It's not exactly reasonable for me to expect people to make allowances when they don't know what I'm going through. I'm still at a stage where every disclosure feels like a big deal (in no small part because without a diagnosis I feel like a fraud!

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