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Recent diagnosis and depression

NAS80013

My 22yrd old daughter just been diagnosed with ASC with possible ADHD. She is very depressed and if she is not working she just stays in bed. She works in a cinema so works late shifts. She won't get out of bed to eat before work and then just eats junk food after work. She had a meltdown because she is gaining weight but when I suggest getting up to cook something healthy before work she just says she doesn't have the energy. I offered to cook extra in the evening so she could reheat it the next day but she said she doesn't like reheated food. She has an answer for everything. 

I am struggling to help her as she will not accept my help. Is this an autistic thing or is it the depression? She sobs on my shoulder and I just don't know what to do.

Her room is disgusting and I offered to clean/tidy it for her but she refuses to let me. Her personal hygiene is poor and its hard to get her to shower once a week. (this has always been a battle) 

I just want her to be happy....... Help!

P.s. Her Dr prescribed her Sertraline today after an email exchange

Parents

  • That must be so hard for you both - I’m really sorry x

    The lack of motivation and energy is so typical of depression. The personal hygiene thing can also be depression related, but I think that some autistic people are not always very focussed on hygiene etc. My youngest son just doesn’t think about washing etc so I always have to remind him - often several times before he will clean his teeth etc. He just doesn’t seem to think about it. 

    My heart goes out to your daughter - it sounds like she isn’t enjoying life at all. Does she have any friends - or other family members she is close to? The fact that she will cry on your shoulder shows that she trusts you, and gets comfort from your presence, which is wonderful. It shows that she knows you are there for her - which is crucial. 


    My son has had depression and ocd - it’s heartbreaking to see your child so unhappy isn’t it? But please know that she can get better - depression can be treated, and she will improve I’m sure. 

    Do take close care of her when she starts the anti-depressant. Some people find that when they first start taking them the side effects can be severe. There can be an increase in suicide risk when people start taking SSRIs. Years ago I tried an anti-depressants and they made me feel suicidal in a way that was extremely scary. I couldn’t continue with them because of this, My eldest was on an anti-depressant last year for some months - he found the first two weeks very difficult, then he got some benefit for a few months, then decided to come off them - and coming off them was as difficult as going on them in terms of side effects being quite extreme. So make sure there is someone with your daughter in the first few days to make sure she is safe. 

    What’s positive is that you are there for her and trying to help. Your presence and love and care is vital. 
    sending you both lots of love - you’ll both get through this difficult time to a happier time when this is just a memory x 

Reply

  • That must be so hard for you both - I’m really sorry x

    The lack of motivation and energy is so typical of depression. The personal hygiene thing can also be depression related, but I think that some autistic people are not always very focussed on hygiene etc. My youngest son just doesn’t think about washing etc so I always have to remind him - often several times before he will clean his teeth etc. He just doesn’t seem to think about it. 

    My heart goes out to your daughter - it sounds like she isn’t enjoying life at all. Does she have any friends - or other family members she is close to? The fact that she will cry on your shoulder shows that she trusts you, and gets comfort from your presence, which is wonderful. It shows that she knows you are there for her - which is crucial. 


    My son has had depression and ocd - it’s heartbreaking to see your child so unhappy isn’t it? But please know that she can get better - depression can be treated, and she will improve I’m sure. 

    Do take close care of her when she starts the anti-depressant. Some people find that when they first start taking them the side effects can be severe. There can be an increase in suicide risk when people start taking SSRIs. Years ago I tried an anti-depressants and they made me feel suicidal in a way that was extremely scary. I couldn’t continue with them because of this, My eldest was on an anti-depressant last year for some months - he found the first two weeks very difficult, then he got some benefit for a few months, then decided to come off them - and coming off them was as difficult as going on them in terms of side effects being quite extreme. So make sure there is someone with your daughter in the first few days to make sure she is safe. 

    What’s positive is that you are there for her and trying to help. Your presence and love and care is vital. 
    sending you both lots of love - you’ll both get through this difficult time to a happier time when this is just a memory x 

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